The other day I was straightening my hair with this dinky, cheap, I-need-to-buy-a-new-one-Sweetie flat iron. It is horrible. My hair is way too thick, long and curly to use a 3/4” $10 piece of crap.
I want a new one. I want one like the girl who does my hair has. It got super hot and made my hair all sorts of shiny. I would even say that it had the potential to help me look “put together” on a daily basis (I’ve seriously become obsessed with this idea of ‘put together’… complete superficiality, here I come).
But don’t you have to have a cosmetology/hair dressing license to get some of their equipment? I’ve even heard stories that you have to have the license to get into the stores that sell the equipment.
And I realized that when these people get out of beauty school they really come out with something to show for it! They have the ability to walk into stores that us mere unkempt mortals are forbidden to enter. That is a cool power!
I have an advanced degree, I thought. Surely, I have cool super powers that mere neurotic mortals do not possess, right? Surely I did not go into debt for the price of hundreds of super cool hair straighteners for absolutely nothing.
Surely so, dear Marie, surely so. You are merely the owner of a piece of paper (that you accidentally stepped on last night) that claims your masterdom, even though reality says….
“You is a chump, Marie, you is a chump.”
Maybe I will go to beauty school….