I know this is a hard time for you, getting a step-mom and all. I just want you to know that I really do love you, and even though you hate me, I think you’re a pretty swell cat.
I’m writing this letter out of respect to you, and for entertainment for me. I’m not sure if you’re old enough to hear this, but I’m going to tell you anyways.
Make matters worse? He isn’t even… feline.
I’m just trying keep this relationship as honest as possible… because I care.
Ha ha, Sucker!
Your Loving Step-Mommy.