Let me tell you a story…

Once upon a time there was a very fertile stray cat called Callie. After getting into a “bad situation” (i.e. she got knocked up), Callie found a wonderful family to love and nurture her as she prepared to become a single mother.

In August Callie gave birth to 7 kittens! It was a joyous day for everyone in the land. Sadness fell over the kingdom, though, when the people realized only 5 kittens had survived. They were an optimistic people, and they gave praises to God for giving them the gift of 5 new kitten lives.

Callie’s mothering instinct immediately went to work and she shuffled the kittens into a small dark corner of the kingdom. She was smart to put the safety of her kittens first, and to not be completely trusting of the kind, though strange, family she had met. Unfortunately, she was unaware of the powers of Mother Nature and her ability to kill with heat. Sadly, 2 more kittens died within the week.

The Beautiful Princess of the family (oh, I didn’t tell you they were royal?) took initiative and moved Callie and her 3 remaining babies into the palace. The kittens fell in love with her, and she with them. Everything was to be lovely forever. Until…

The Beautiful Princess met a True Knight in Shining Armor. Their love grew, and slowly the True Knight in Shining Armor won her heart and her trust. As a symbol of the trust she held for him she gave him one of her beautiful kittens, the one called Crooked Tail (his tail had been injured while protecting the Beautiful Princess from a fire breathing hamster… a beautiful story of courage and wisdom, but that’s another blog for another day).

The True Knight in Shining Armor loved Crooked Tail so much that he gave him a new name, Nala which means “beloved” in African. The True Knight in Shining Armor and the Beautiful Princess dreamed of the day when all three would live in the same palace and rule over a small kingdom… together.

However, the Beautiful Princess did not know the True Knight in Shining Armor’s other name… Cat Brainwasher from Smurf Village!

That’s right, blog reader, True Knight in Shining Armor/ Cat Brainwasher had taken the precious gift, the beautiful kitten Nala and made him forget the Beautiful Princess and even hate the Beautiful Princess!

When the Beautiful Princess came to live with the TKiSA/CB, Nala had no idea who she was!

Mark, why is this chick wearing a crown? And why is she calling you True Knight in Shining Armor? You should seriously let me start screening your ladyfriends…

He constantly mean mugged the Beautiful Princess, and this left the Beautiful Princess distraught. Where had her beautiful little kitten gone? What had happened to him?

Not one to sit around and complain, the Beautiful Princess began to strategize how to win her good kitty back…

She respected the new Nala and formally introduced herself.

Dude, does she have any medicine or something we can give her to make her a little less…cuckoo?

After some formal testing the Beautiful Princess learned Nala’s love language was touch, and naturally found any opportunity to love and hug her wonderful friend.

That’s it. I’m calling the cops.

Til this day the Beautiful Princess continues to fight the good fight. Helping Nala recover his lost memories of the blissful kittenhood spent at the Beautiful Princess’ palace. And helping the True Knight in Shining Armor learn from his wicked, wicked ways. Alas, the fight between good and evil continues…

And that, Nala, dear step-cat of mine, is the story of your life. If there is one thing I hope you learn it is this…

Punk, you better quit biting me! I took you into this palace, I will sure as anything take you out!

The. End.

2 thoughts on “Let me tell you a story…

  1. Shelley says:

    This blog tells me 3 things:
    1) You have too much time on your hands
    2) I have a reason for not being a big fan of cats…they are too moody for me
    3) You can take ANY topic and make an interesting story of it!!

    Question: Do you know of the bands Boys Like Girls and/or Metro Station? If you do, in fact, know these groups, do you know that they are playing at Rocketown on July 5th? Will you be in attendance? I believe I will be.

    Also, I would enjoy being a part of your reading/ book club, but I will be working 2-10 at my job so weeknight dinner meetings are out for me. I can just keep up online if weekend meetings are not do-able.

  2. […] Nala and I have had a rocky relationship from the beginning.  The week of Mark and I’s wedding, Mark’s parents were in town and we spent an evening playing dominoes.  Nala spent the evening biting my ankles.  Like FOR REAL biting my ankles.  I did not know cats bit until that night. […]

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