dancer, children’s book illustrator, comic book artist, car designer, architect, journalist, international businesswoman…
The list goes on and on. Most of those careers still seem fun, but eventually Life said I had to choose.
I argued that it wasn’t fair, that I wanted to be everything.
Life argued that in my wanting to be everything I was sitting at a desk answering a telephone doing much of nothing.
Life is right. I need to choose. I need to quit letting my fear of one thing lead me to think I’d ever make a good comic book artist. I wouldn’t, and that’s ok.
I need to let go of all these old dreams, and realize that there is a real dream sitting right in front of me, waiting for me to grab hold of it.
I went to school to be a marriage and family therapist. Trust me, I have every reason why I should not be a therapist written, in what feels like permanent marker, all over my heart.
I am not old enough.
I have no experience.
I only paid ‘enough’ attention in class.
I am not very perceptive.
I am not very caring.
I zone out.
The list goes on and on…
The ‘one thing’ I’m afraid of (I could only wish that I was afraid of one thing) is that I won’t be very good. That I’ll fail. Miserably. In front of everyone.
That I’ll hand my heart, filled with all these dreams of helping people, over to Life.
And what will Life do?
Violently squash my heart, filled with dreams, that’s what.
Needless to say, I want to hold on to my heart, and never share my dream of being a marriage and family therapist with Life or anyone else. It’s better this way, right?
Then I realize that holding my heart means that I will be the one violently squashing my dreams, and I surely don’t want that on my conscience, to be known as a Heart Squasher. To be the Squasher of my own heart. Preposterous!
So I’m handing the dreams over to Life, and finding out what happens….