Dude from work: What happened to you? Walk through a barbed wire fence?
Me: No, I got attacked by a pitbull.
Me: Yup (and I’m smiling all smugly because I am so badbutt).
Dude: Oh (and he says this seriously!!) I thought maybe you got one of those “vein surgeries”.
Vein surgery? You thought I got, no, needed the vein surgery??
Oh. my. goodness.
I am twenty-flippin-five years old! 25 year olds don’t get spider vein surgery!
I’m not saying I don’t have them, or don’t need the surgery, I’m just saying that I’m not legally allowed to start complaining about varicose veins for a minimum of 30 years, much less start having surgery to help me!
The worst was he kept repeating it!
Different Dude from work: What happened to you?
Original Dude from work: Yeah. I thought it was vein surgery.