I never know how to talk about him in the blog. There isn’t really a reason to talk about him, but whenever I think of something that includes him I never really know what to call him.
For lots of you it would suffice to say “this guy I used to date” because technically that’s what he is. This guy I used to date.
But that sounds so nonchalant. Like I dated lots of guys and he just happened to be one of them. Which isn’t true. My love resume consists of “this guy I used to date” and “the guy I married”, and that’s about it.
And in my funny/weird mind it seems, in an odd way, disrespectful to make him sound like some anonymous random person when he really was a very important person in my world at one point in time. I mean, this person has determined the way my possible children will eat deli meat sandwiches forever. Cheese not touching the mayo.
So to call him “this guy I used to date” is weird. Not to mention the fact that half of you are friends with him, and are wondering why I don’t just say his name and quit with the silliness. But I have rules and one of them is not to say his name on my blog. Especially my married blog. It’s just wrong.
There is a reason for hashing this out. Trust me.
Last week I had a dream about The Guy I Used to Date’s (will capitalization provide the proper level of respect/ambiguity?) mom. It was similar to the dream I had about his mom the week before my wedding.
As you can tell, my problem is that I keep dreaming about this lady I miss so very much (see if I had started this blog here, without telling you that she was someone’s mom, you’d all think I was a loon dreaming about random ladies. Now you just think I’m odd).
The week before our wedding I had a dream where she basically gave me the rundown on why I shouldn’t get married to Mark and instead marry her son. None of her reasons had anything to do with why her son was better, everything had to do with the fact that we couldn’t be friends if I married Mark. And it made her sad that I wouldn’t be a part of her family. And I was sad that she was sad. Thankfully, I woke up before I gave in to her wishes because I was thisclose to doing so. Goodness, I can’t even stand up for myself in my dreams.
Last week I dreamed that I was trapped in her house and couldn’t find a place to hide. She found me, and made me talk to her. She told me that it was ok that I screwed The Guy I Used to Date over, and she forgave me. And that I was hiding from her for no reason, that we really could have still been friends.
In reality, I know this is a load of bull honkey for lots of different reasons. We can’t be friends, and that’s sad but it’s true. And at the same time I feel some weird sense of closure because of the dream.
I have heard that before you get married it is common to have dreams about former flames. I apparently have dreams about former flame’s parents. Regardless, did anyone else dream about old boyfriends/girlfriends (there have to be some guys reading this) before they got married? I have a theory about this if it is common…