Pretty much anytime Mark and I start to, um, canoodle he asks, “So how is the birth control going”?
Not exactly a “turn on”, but it is nice to think that he is trying to help shoulder the responsibility for Mission: Baby Prevention in his own small way.
Any other time I would assure him that no babies would be had, and that The Pill and I were still getting along marvelously. But this was before I got a particular email…
Susan, my sorority sister/former roommate, emailed me last week asking if I had come across any research that said a decreased libido was a side effect of The Pill. In a casual polling of friends and classmates she had found that a significant amount of women thought there was a correlation.
Interesting, I thought. You mean I could be wanting sex even more than I want it now? Preposterous! But intriguing.
“Mark, whatdoyouthinkaboutmegoingoffThePill?” I asked. Quickly. And quietly.
“I was thinking… that maybe… I don’t know… I could get off The Pill…”
“Why? Are you feeling sick or something?”
“No, but my friend emailed me and asked about how The Pill affects the libido. She thinks it might decrease it…”
“Yes, Marie. That’s your problem. You have an underfunctioning libido.”
“She is a scientist, Mark! She knows what she is talking about… I’m going off The Pill”
Ok. I’m not going off The Pill. I was bluffing. I was 99% sure that if I really did play that card Mark would cut me off completely and I’d be suffering from sexual desire overdrive.
But I wasn’t going to back down so easily. Oh, no. I went to the library and checked out Natural Birth Control Made Simple.
This move scared the crap out of Mark (that’s right, buddy, get your hands off of my ovaries).
It is turning into quite a fascinating read (between ‘conversations’ with the vajay-jay and mucus testing, it’s a real page turner), and I plan on giving you guys the low down next week.
The biggest surprise for me is that I’m so clueless about all the ways to control offspring production. What are your preferred methods?
And for the sake of research, anyone else experiencing a decrease in libido because of The Pill? Seriously, comment (leave it anonymous if it makes you feel better). This is important, People!