Masks are never very comfortable

This weekend Mark and I had a pretty long fight.  I wouldn’t say it was a ‘bad’ fight it just started to feel like it was never going to get resolved.  I kept thinking I was saying what I wanted, and it felt like he kept ignoring me.  And he thought he was hearing and doing everything right, and that I just refused to be happy.

By the end of the fight I realized that part of what I hated about fighting was that I never talked about our fights, the real ones, on the blog and this bothered me. 

I feel fake when I read through some of the marriage posts and think, “Wow, Marie, you make marriage sound like a trip to Disney World where all you do is pick on each other and play with cats.  What is with the front?”

Because some words I would never use to describe marriage include simple, easy, or ‘piece of cake’.  Atleast not for my marriage.  This marriage gig has been hard with a capital difficult at times.  There is so much sacrifice, talking, conflict resolving, trust testing, more talking, and behaviors designed purely to annoy you. 

I once read that marriage is like having a huge, beautiful tree growing in the middle of your living room.  You love the tree and think it adds a certain something to your life, but there is no way to deny that it completely changes your life.  Navigating throughout the house is no longer the same because of this tree, its needs and presence always have to be considered. 

I love this marriage, my huge tree in the middle of the living room, and I’m never going to say it’s easy, but I hope to always say it is worth it. 

What I’m trying to say is that we all know that marriage is hard, and the McKinney-Oates Cereal marriage is no different.  Life is not just about Blogicals and dressing cats up like pilgrims and indians.  Please don’t think I’m fake or trying to act like life and marriage doesn’t suck major sometimes.  Sometimes they do.  I’m just not big on blogging about it.

I don’t really know why I decided to write about this other than just wanting to ‘keep it real’.  Yo.  Peace out.

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2 thoughts on “Masks are never very comfortable

  1. Rebecca says:

    I’m with you. I mean, I’m not married, but relationships are tough. I’m only learning how tough now because I’m with someone I really like. I got some great advice from someone I know recently. His parents have been married for 50 years, and I asked what’s their secret? He answered that they subscribe to a Chinese proverb to “Keep one eye open, and one eye shut.” I’ve been doing this the past couple days, especially because my boyfriend is so stressed right now. I close my eye to the bad stuff and keep the other open on the good. It works. 🙂

  2. mckinneyoatescereal says:

    Rebecca, thank you! Relationships are lots and LOTS of work, I wish more people realized that.

    And that’s a great proverb to live by. Telling someone “You’ll just have to choose to ignore some of his annoying habits/behaviors” doesn’t sit really well with a culture that says anything you invest into should make you completely happy. Two imperfect people make up a relationship and that’s life. Thank you for sharing the wisdom!

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