How did you know?

The first time I heard the name of The Guy I Used to Date something inside me whispered, “This is going to be a special person in your life.” 

I hadn’t even met him. I had only seen him in passing.  I was 16 years old, what on earth could my gut possibly know?But something deep inside me knew that this person and I would have a very special relationship.

And I was right.  Within a few months we met, started dating, and, in my opinion, would have easily won the “Most Likely to Marry Their High School AND College Sweetheart” superlative.  We had that thing locked up.  There honestly weren’t lots of questions about our future.  After all, something had told me he would be special, and what is more special than a husband?

My 16 year old gut had been so spot on that I continued to use her. She was how I decided to go to Tennessee Tech.  She was how I decided to become a Psych major.  How I decided to say no to Western Kentucky, and instead went to Trevecca.   She was how I knew what car to buy.  Me and my gut were on a roll when it came to decision making, rarely did I question her…

Until I went to church one Sunday.  I had planned to go to the Sunday School class my dad had taught because I had just moved back home and felt like a complete stranger in my home church.  As I walked down the hall the pastor’s wife called out to me from her Sunday School classroom.

“Marie!  You’re back, come to this class!  You’ll love it.”

 I hesitated because I did not want to deal with people I didn’t know, but I have this strange inability to say ‘no’ at times, especially when I’ve been caught off-guard.  I went dutifully into the classroom.

And then he walked in.  He sat across from me, and seemed completely unaware that I was staring at him. 

“That’s your husband,” my gut said. 

The only reason I remember it so well was because I immediately started arguing with myself, a sign to how much my gut meant business.  Also a sign that I had lost. my. mind.

“He can’t be my husband.  I’m as close to engaged as you can possibly get,” I was honestly about to cry, I was so scared.

“The other one was special.  This is your husband.”

Yes, my gut and I were having a real conversation in the middle of Sunday School.

“Gut, you’re either wrong about this, or you were wrong 7 years ago.  Gut, are you broken?  You have got to be broken. Please don’t break.  I need you.”

But the feeling stayed with me, and slowly ate away at my relationship with The Guy I Used to Date.  I had said a few words in passing to this new person, did some Google searching (because I am, and always will be, a cyberstalker), and learned some information that seemed to seal the deal that this new guy was not my husband.  I was doing everything I could to ignore her premonition.

But the feeling never left.  My gut knew, and so did I.  Mark was my husband, no matter how much I tried to ignore it.  My heart knew immediately, and it took a year or so for my head to catch up… 

So, out of curiosity, and a love of comments… how did you know when you met your One*?  Did you just know, or was it something that he/she did?  Candice? Michelle? Either Susan?

*Despite what my story suggests, I don’t really believe in a “One”, or fate.  I know that’s weird, but I don’t buy it.  I don’t understand me, either.

7 thoughts on “How did you know?

  1. Michelle says:

    I definitely agree with the gut feeling. Unlike you, I did not have that gut feeling the first time I meet Jeff. (Then again, I was not listening to my gut at that time.) But after awhile, my gut knew. My gut also told me Lenoir-Rhyne was were I should go to college. My gut has been telling me a lot lately.

    The decisions I have made without using my gut, I still wonder about (i.e. going to law school).

    Have you read Blink by Malcolm Gladwell? (You would love it.) In it, he discusses the science behind that gut feeling, what he callS a “blink” or “thin-slicing.”

    I do not believe in the “One” or in fate either. But, I do believe that we are able to know things without being able to articulate why we know them.

  2. Marie says:

    Michelle, so funny, I was going to write about the first time you two met if you didn’t respond… eh, I think I will still write about the first time you guys met 😀

    I have not read Blink, yet, but I want to! I actually haven’t read any of Gladwell’s stuff, but I am pretty sure I would love him just from what I’ve heard.

    And I agree, there are just some things we know, and we don’t know how to express how we know.

  3. Secret Agent "CT" says:

    The first night Thomas and I met, I never thought that I’d see or hear from him again. The next day when he called, he blew me off my feet! Then I blew his ego by letting him go 5 seconds into the phone call because I had “plans”. (I was on my way to meeting and didn’t want a fine for being late!!)

    I begged him to call me the next day but he never did. (Loser) So I thought that I blew it. He did call the following day and we talked forever. We set up our first real date during that call. I also told him that if he told me that he was going to call, I expected a call. No playing games. 🙂 ha! (I seriously told him that!)

    So anyway, fast forward to that Friday and it was date night. We had a great time on our date and he kissed me bye. (I’m so not a first date kisser but everything was different with him.) After I shut my apartment door, I leaned back against it and thought to myself…I’m going to marry him. Then I thought that I was nuts!!!

    One week later, I called the other 2 guys that I was VERY casually seeing and told them that I had met someone else and couldn’t see them anymore. (They knew about each other and neither relationship was serious. I think they were seeing other people as well.)

    After Thomas and I been dating awhile and had actually talked about getting married one day, we had a conversation about when each of us knew that the other was the one. Crazy as it is, we both knew after that first date!

    We had no intentions of actually getting married at that point, we just knew that we had found one another!

  4. Marie says:

    CT, awww! That’s so sweet… especially that he knew at the same time! Wow! And it DOES feel nuts when you realize you’re going to marry someone, and I do think you have to be at least a little bit insane to commit your life to one. person. forever. It’s a good insane, but insane nonetheless.

    Are these stories not awesome? I love it! Please share yours! Yes, YOU!

    How did you know? And now let’s talk about when did he know? How did he know?

  5. […] always known Mark was the man I’d marry, but all three times we broke up I always talked about how he was too old for me , never laughed at […]

  6. […] I had to because my special witch powers gut told me to.  My gut told me this because she knew I would be a winner.  And she was right.  I WON, PEOPLE!  One hundred […]

  7. Guess Who? says:

    Most people wouldn’t believe that I was ready to get married long before Greg was. But like you, I knew early on that I was going to marry Greg. I just tried to fight it for years by self sabotaging.

    We have always gotten along pretty well, aside from when I’m being insane, but it’s funny because a lot of my crazy “you don’t really love me” stuff has disappeared since we got engaged. Along with my “am I making a mistake” craziness.

    He reminds me on a daily basis why I have made the right choice. He is the most understanding and considerate person I have ever met. And while I’ve been known to be somewhat of a synic (understatement of the year) when it comes to love and relationships, Greg has completely proven me wrong.

    So, to answer your question – A few months into our relationship, we were in the car. He didn’t say anything really sweet or shoot me a look, but I just knew. I cried out of complete terror and told him, something that would have sent most men running. But not Greg, he just held my hand.

    ps…I got a dress!! style # 1900

    This is sooo sweet. I adore you. And your dress? You are going to be an amazing bride. Greg is SO lucky.

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