“The only time that you can be 100% sure that a guy is not lying to you is right after he’s had sex. There is a 5 minute window of absolute honesty,” said a guy whose name I can’t remember for the life of me.
“How are you so sure he’s honest after sex?”
“Because for those 5 short minutes he is not interested in sex, and has no reason to lie.”
“Brilliant,” I whispered in awe of his wisdom.
I’ve asked many a male for an opinion on this theory. Most smirk because at least one part is true, the only time guys aren’t interested in hooking up is immediately after doing the Naked Boogie Woogie. None would comment on whether their honesty was affected. Or effected. Whatever.
I think the level of male honesty goes way up. We lie to impress people. Specifically, guys lie to impress girls. Guys want to impress girls so that they can sleep with girls. Once thoughts like “want to touch the hiney” are gone, guys are free to be honest.
Think about it.
He spends all night opening car doors for you, telling you you’re beautiful, buying you whatever you want at McDonald’s. After a night like this, who wouldn’t be doing The Deed?
And then? After the most amazing 15 minutes of your lives?
He rolls over. Leaving you to bask in the afterglow. Alone.
Or asks you to fix him a sandwich.
Or wonders outloud when the last time you went to the gym was.
For those precious 5 minutes he thinks there is nothing wrong with any of these statements or behaviors. He doesn’t think anything is wrong because for those 5 minutes he isn’t worried about the next time he is getting some. For 5 minutes HE gets to do and say what HE honestly wants to do or say.
Use this time wisely. Keep a list of questions you’ve always wanted an honest answer to next to the bed and when he enters “I don’t care about what you think” mode start the interview process. You’ve got about 5 minutes!
Helpful list of Questions to Avoid:
Am I too fat for the red dress?
Do you like my mother?
Who do you think about more, me or the cat?
Honesty shall set you free on Hump Day!