Annoying Husband Behavior #1

I am not a pack rat.  I am not sentimental.  I am not controlled by the looming fear that one day someone will ask me to produce a receipt for my $3 lunch at Taco Bell.

I like throwing things away.  I like it so much that I wouldn’t be surprised if Al Gore accused me of being responsible for 7% of our country’s waste production.  I create trash. Like a bandit.

My wonderful partner in life, however, does not share my philosophy on waste management.  No, Mark loves to keep Stuff.  All Stuff.  Sure, there’s a special place in his heart for Teflon-coated Stuff, but Mark is on a mission to give all Stuff a home.

Like the 3 Palm pilots he keeps around “for the parts” even though he uses a Treo.

Or how about when the light bulb went out in the kitchen and I went to change it and found out that the box of what I thought were new light bulbs were all already burnt out.  Because Mark puts burnt out light bulbs back in the box JUST BECAUSE.

And the worst part, what I’m calling Annoying Husband Behavior #1, is his inability to throw mail away.

I want to read the mail and then throw it away.  Read and throw away.  Read, throw away.  Read.  Throw away.

Difficult?  I think not.

Mark’s system is much more complicated.  Get mail out of box.  Let it sit around for weeks until whatever information it was meant to communicate is no longer relevant or useful.  Open.  Keep on display on ottoman or on top of the television to keep with the “Cluttered but lived in” look we’re going for.  Yell at Marie when she suggests throwing irrelevant piece of mail away because “You never know when we’ll need that information!”

Thank goodness I’m awesome and can compromise.  I agreed to keep what I considered stupid pieces of mail as long as we filed them away.  And Mark agreed to throw egg shells away instead of putting them back in the carton.

I’m not sure how I survive either.

What’s your person’s annoying habit/behavior?

13 thoughts on “Annoying Husband Behavior #1

  1. Rebecca says:

    Ahaha, this is so funny. Ryan’s annoying behavior is to walk in his shoes on my beautiful white carpet. His stupid dirty mucky shoes. 🙂

  2. Linda says:

    Oh! That is sad! I throw away everything .

  3. Linda says:

    Marie just throw away little at a time that way he doesn’t know.

  4. Linda says:

    your dad’s annoying habbit is, I cannot clean around him…its annoying .

  5. Marie says:

    Rebecca, oh if I had pretty carpet I’m pretty sure that would make me crazy, too!

    Mom, you commented on my blog! That is so cool.

    And I hope everyone is paying attention to the genius that raised me. Throw away a little bit at a time so that he doesn’t notice? Brilliant.

    Daddy does get funky when you clean 🙂

  6. Secret Agent "CT" says:

    Thomas is a pack rat too! Ugh!!! It drives me insane! We’ve had many, many agruments about the mail. Thomas does the same thing that Mark does. It’s insane!

    Thomas never puts the mail in the same location in our house. So first, I have to go on a scavenger hunt for the mail. I also ask him what came in the mail that day and he feins amnesia. Please. So now, I have to look for unknown mail in unknown location. It’s crazy really.

    Then when I find said mail, it’s all junk and maybe a bill or two. I ask why he didn’t throw the junk mail away. His response is that I might have wanted to look at the junk mail. It’s sweet and all – that he is trying to be considerate of me. However, I think he’s just using that excuse to be lazy. I’ve told him that if I never knew it came or existed, that I would not be able to miss it or be mad that I never saw it. 🙂

    Your mom is right. I’ve used her technique of getting rid of things a little at a time. It works GREAT!! Our washer/dryer also destroys clothes sometimes. 😉 I don’t know how that happens. LOL

    It is SUPER cool that your mom commented. Hi Mom! ha ha ha!!

  7. Marie says:

    CT, that trick must be in some secret wife handbook that I have yet to see 🙂 You crack me up, especially the scavenger hunt for the mail… is it wrong to take away their mail checking privleges? Just a thought.

  8. Veda says:

    Ooh Ooh I get to talk about Michael!! Umm ok…one of Michael’s annoying behaviors is that he rarely closes drawers and he hangs his pants (worn once so they aren’t dirty and he can totally wear them again!) over random things (corner of his closet door, door knobs, drawer handles, etc.). It’s not too bad though because otherwise he is kinda awesome! haha!

  9. Marie says:

    Veda, yes, his awesomeness would DEFINITELY make up for not closed drawers and pants as decoration 🙂

  10. Secret Agent "CT" says:

    Ohh, I have so tried to talk Thomas into NOT checking the mail. Not happening. He LOVES to get the mail. He just wants to get it and bring it in the house. I have no idea why? Is it a “manly” chore? Ugh…I haven’t found the solution to that one.

    Use the washer/dryer excuse to get rid of clothing items that you can’t stand. 😉 That’s taken from the ultimate kick-butt wife manual. 🙂 I’ll have to find you a copy…

    • Marie says:

      You crack me up. Men do love to check the mail… it’s like a dog with fetch, huh? And I didn’t get the washer/dryer thing until now… you’re.a.genius.

  11. […] 2, 2009 in Marriage Last week I let you in on what grates my nerves about Mark.  Well, I like balance, equality and justice, so here’s how I drive him […]

  12. […] of being a pack rat.  I kinda thought this would become a series which is why I called it “Annoying Husband Behavior #1“.  I was expecting lots of annoying behavior and that I’d be at, like, #212 by […]

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