Annoying Wife Behavior #1

Last week I let you in on what grates my nerves about Mark.  Well, I like balance, equality and justice, so here’s how I drive him batty.

Most times it starts innocently enough…

Megan Fox is on the television. 

You think she’s prettier than me pretty, don’t you?

Or I burn the pizza. 

You think my cooking sucks.

Or he looks too concerned/serious/grumpy.

You hate me!

Even this post is an example of how I tell Mark what he is thinking.  When I decided I needed to blog about this topic I didn’t even ask him what he thought.  Nope. Didn’t have to.  Why, you ask?  Because I already know everything he thinks.  Because I’m a Pisces.  And a woman.

My annoying habit means that pretty much every fight we’ve ever had has this interaction in it:

I ask a question.

Mark:  I’m not answering that.

Marie:  You have to answer.  We’re fighting. I want to know.

Mark:  Why should I answer?  You’re just going to say, “That’s not true” or “Nuh-uh“.  I’m not playing this game, Marie.

Marie:  Answer. the. question.

Mark:  Fine. [Answers question.]

MarieSilent thinking.

Mark:  Well???

MarieWrong.  You think [fill in with answer that makes me mad because I want to be/stay mad].

This drives him nuts.  You can’t tell me what I think, he says.  Really?  Because I think I can.  Didn’t you know that marriage means I own you?  You and your mind.  Deal with it.

The worst part is that my annoying behavior, telling your partner what they think, is kind of a huge no-no for relationship health.  All marriage experts have written about how horrible this behavior is.

But all that really means to me is that I better get to work on my book, Hoarding Junk Mail: The death of a marriage.  And fast.

How do you annoy your partner?

8 thoughts on “Annoying Wife Behavior #1

  1. Rebecca says:

    Haha, oh Marie. I definitely practice this annoying habit myself – how to break it? I’ll never know…

    • Marie says:

      Rebecca, I’m glad to know I’m not the only one. In our premarital counseling, Mark and I practiced lots of great communication techniques like “I-statements” and reflective listening, but it’s still so hard for me to not fall back to telling him what he thinks.

  2. ash says:

    How do you annoy your partner?

    I exist…haha, just kidding!

    this past weekend it was, “you are never supportive with home repairs. sometimes a guy needs a little compliment here and there.”

    he is right. he deserves a standing ovation for *watching* my dad caulk the sink and *watching* my dad paint all the baseboards in the house. way to go honey!

    • Marie says:

      Ash, that’s too funny! Men can call women high maintenance all they want, but taking care of their egos can sometimes be quite the job!

  3. Jamie says:

    Wait, WAIITTTTTTT — you’re not SUPPOSED to tell people what they think!?

    Oh.My.God. My entire love life makes sense.

    😉 I kid, I kid.

    Loved this post. You’re hilarious. I’m so happy I found your blog.

    • Marie says:

      Jamie, thanks and the same to you! I’m so glad to start meeting more bloggers 😀 And I’m glad to help shed some light on the relationship scene.

      Stephanie, I’m so glad you commented! And that’s hilarious that Ryan thinks we’re the same… and I would highly suggest putting the “I own you” spiel in your wedding vows. You know, for whenever that happens 😉

  4. Stephanie says:

    Marie! i absolutely love your blogs! I read them to Ryan & he says we are one in the same!

    I do the whole “No what you really mean is” thing too & it drives him crazy & i responded with “Didn’t you know that marriage (Dating me) means I own you? You and your mind. Deal with it.” haha

  5. Xjaeva says:

    That “i’m going to tell you what you’re thinking’ bit is done to me nearly daily. Drives me mad!!
    I have a whole host of things that annoys him
    messy counters
    slimy sponges
    crumbs on the floor
    indifference (appearing as though, not actual indifference)

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