How big is the devil?

Mark and I recently started attending a very charismatic church that I am quickly falling in love with. Nearly every Sunday I laugh out loud at something our pastor says and today was no different.

Our pastor was describing how when we finally get to see Satan we’re going to be surprised at just how little and not powerful he is. He said that Satan was a master deceiver, the great illusionist. He made us believe that he is strong and powerful, but he really isn’t. In reality, Satan was just a little midget using shadows to make us think he was big. A midget using shadows. On an angle, he added.

I was dying because as he described this little Satan he walked across the stage kicking the imaginary satanic midget. 

After church Mark and I usually discuss what we got from the message.  He blabbered on about, um, something, and then I got to share. “I loved the ‘Devil is a midget’ shtick.  So much so that I think I’m going to Tweet about it.”

Just learned that Satan is a midget.

Before I updated my status I became frozen with fear.

Would I offend any midget Twitterers?  Were any of the people following me midgets?  Just how tall is Rebecca from Modite?  Would “Just learned that Satan is a little person” be better? I couldn’t do it.  It would be politically incorrect and socially irresponsible to even kind of insinuate that shorter than average people were in some way demonic or that my pastor would kick them if given the opportunity (he wouldn’t).  There were way too many people to possibly offend to make it worth it. 


I erased the update and put something about my vacuum cleaner instead.  

Then I began to wonder, how close can the internet world become if we’re constantly nagged with the question, “Am I going to offend someone with this?”  Because aren’t the very best friendships the ones where you can give each other a hard time?  The ones where no one lets you take yourself too seriously? 

But those friendships don’t just happen, we don’t just start making fun of each other out of the blue.  That’s mean.  No, we must first give each other permission to tease by teasing ourselves.  There is this weird social contract that, for the most part, if I tease myself about something I’m giving you permission to tease me too.  This isn’t always true, but it is lots of the time.

So let’s take internet friendships to a new level, People.  You can make fun of my big head, ability to poop on any party (i.e. I’m a party pooper, I do not have irritable bowel syndrome) and that I get stupid, hand sweating nervous around cute boys.

How can I make fun of you today? And if Satan reads this could you give me the ok on the midget thing? Great.

10 thoughts on “How big is the devil?

  1. internet elias says:

    Marie, you’re a hoot! But you are right about Satan. He’s not a threat if God truly indwells us by way of the Holy Spirit. ‘Greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world.’ The ‘battle’ truly is the Lord’s. God and righteousness / Satan and sin are very, very sobering subjects.

    • Marie says:

      Internet Elias, they are really sobering subjects. And when our pastor talked about Satan being small it really helped me gain tons of perspective on how silly it is to be threatened by someone with absolutely no power over my life. Thanks for the comment!

      Rebecca, the half is so important. Unfortunately, you will have to wait for regular America’s Next Top Model to return before you can try out since they are giving us short girls a chance in the upcoming season 🙂 And I hate it when people get easily offended, it just makes everything so uncomfortable.

  2. Rebecca says:

    Ha, I’m 5’7″ (and a half. That half is important.) I don’t get easily offended, but I know a lot of people that do. Just the same, censorship is out 🙂

  3. It’s an interesting balance, being human and vulnerable and – you – and putting yourself out there online. There have been more than one “brilliant” tweets that I’ve had the foresight to hit the backspace over before hitting “update.”

    It’s complicated, because at least for the foreseeable future, it’s not going away. I mean, just look at the Cisco Fatty incident…. one little remark, and into the permanent Twitter lexicon you go!

    Anyway, that’s one reason blogging is still so important to me. Since the context of that space is all mine, I can let my hair down a little and not worry about decontextualized Tweeps RT-ing me into a yet-unknown oblivion of internet infamy. 🙂

  4. And also, I think that last post somehow linked you to my old blog (where you can see more of the real me, just not the latest version). Silly WordPress.

  5. dorieannmorgan says:

    I’m always fearful when I post things about my church or my faith because it is so easy for fear or misinterpretation to taint it. That is one of the things Brian and I hold sacred and we try to not leave open on the internet for discussion. I’m also really fearful of being labeled as a Christian blogger – I think that’s a really tough label to receive and live up to.

    But I would have loved the Satan is a midget tweet. Next time, DM me 🙂

    • Marie says:

      Tiffany, great point about Cisco Fatty. Honestly, I felt terrible for her (or was it a him? I’m not sure), and that whole debacle is a big reason Twitter terrified me at first. I just hate how everyone jumps to thinking the worst about a comment/tweet/blog rather than giving someone the benefit of the doubt that MAYBE they didn’t mean it in the horrible way you interpreted it.

      Dorie, you are so right about being careful with blogging about truly personal topics, like faith. I try not to talk about my faith in a way that offends people, and at the same time I’m in the South where it is so normal to talk about that I don’t think of it possibly irritating/offending people. Like, I’m just now thinking “Maybe the Satan thing would have been even more offensive than the midget thing!” And the Satan midget thing really was hilarious. I wish I had a tape of it to share 🙂

  6. I’m so late to the party on this post, but I think it is great and it gave me an idea for a future post – I will link to you for sure 🙂

    And you have full permission to make fun of me as much as you want for whatever you want.

    • Marie says:

      Nisha, thank you for the permission (the same is extended to you, of course 😉 ), and I can’t wait to read your post!

  7. Holy Moly I wish you had posted that satan is a midget. That would have been hilarious.

    I can’t imagine that the cool people that follow you would have been offended. (we would have wanted to know how you know satan is a midget, but we wouldn’t have been offended)

    I like your larger point, however. How much crap can I talk about my internet friends? Can I talk more crap about internet friends that I blog, tweet and facebook with? Can I talk more crap the more I interact with an internet friend? Hmmmm now I have lots of questions…..

    On the other hand, I blog and tweet about my life, and honestly if I censored myself to keep from offending someone (even my in real life friends) I would never post anything, however I do try to stay on this side of “I never want to read anything she writes, ever in life”.

    Monica, that’s exactly what I’m wondering, too! I mean, I know there are people that, for whatever reason, I consider “internet friends” and I wonder if that relationship allows me to “make fun” the way I can with my “real friends”. The weirdest part is I really don’t have any crap to talk about my internet friends, but I want to know if I have that freedom or not.

    And you’re right about the worry of offending someone leading to no posts. What’s the point if you’re going to stay completely vanilla with it, right?

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