Hump Day: April Fools

I have never been good at playing pranks on April Fools Day.  I giggle way too much, and start apologizing before the joke has even been executed.  Original Pranksta, I am not.

However, that has not stopped me from coming up with a list of April Fools pranks to play during Nookie.  Because, really, there should probably be a lot more laughter in the bedroom…

  1. Sexily suggest tying him up.  He’ll love it.  Then put in your Gilmore Girls dvd and enjoy with a (literally) captive audience.  A sock in the mouth is suggested to muffle the man whining.
  2. Fake an orgasm when he holds your hand.  He’ll be confused at first, but after a while (yes, keep going) he’ll catch on that the hand holding is what’s causing this amazing pleasure for you.  When he starts getting into the hand holding (ya know, squeezing your hand, light touching, massaging, etc.) yell “April Fools!” or “Idiot!”, whichever is more appropriate.
  3. Fake an orgasm when she gets you a beer.  She’ll probably roll her eyes, but hey, you got a beer!
  4. This one is going to take packets of ketchup.  Touch him enough that he’s so lost in the experience his eyes close then squirt ketchup on your hands and start screaming.  You’re going for a freak out similar to this guy:
  5. Ok, so none of these pranks are very good (refer to paragraph 1, sentence 3), so #5 is an oldie but a goodie.  Saran wrap over the toilet bowl.  Who doesn’t love a good “you peed on the floor” prank?

 

Good luck on all your April Fools pranks!

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