Mark vs. The Ants

Marie: (Sniff sniff) Did someone spill a bottle of Clorox somewhere?

Mark:  No, I mopped the kitchen floor.

Marie:  (Check outside for Jesus.  He must be back.)

Mark:  The ants are back.  So I had to clean the entire floor.  And I made up my special ant deterring recipe –

Marie:  Wait.  You have an ant deterring recipe?

Mark:  Yeah, I don’t want to kill them because they help out with termites –

MarieWho helps out with the termites?

Mark:  The ants.

Marie: Okay…

Mark:  Anyways, I don’t want to kill them, I just don’t want them coming in the house.  So my ant deterrent is outside leading them away from the house.  And I had to clean the floor to destroy their scent because, as I’m sure you know, they leave a scent that the other ants follow to the food source…

Marie:  I didn’t know that.  I don’t think anyone knows that.  There’s food in our kitchen?  Since when?

So Mark’s on a mission and everyday that he spots an ant my kitchen floors get mopped.  I’m not saying that I’m helping the ants into our home, but I’m also not saying that I don’t love clean floors.

6 thoughts on “Mark vs. The Ants

  1. jamievaron says:

    Can I leave a comment if I have nothing to add?

    Because all I want to do is put – LOL.

    Maybe LO-frickin’-L.

    Or, MAYBE – ROFL.

    Ha, having nothing to add never stops me 😀 (By the way, I vote for “LO-frickin’-L”)

  2. Secret Agent "CT" says:

    Thomas HATES ants too!! He told me the same thing about the ants leaving a scent for the other ants to follow. However, Thomas loves for the ants to meet their fate. Sad but true. He buys any and all products that claim to keep the ants away. ugh…

    We’ve had a random ant appear here or there for about a week or two now. He’s in serious talks about having a bug man come to spray -this week. I’ll suggest that we have Mark come over to just clean our foors for us. 😉 j/k (sort of) ha!

    Does Mark give out his secret ant deterent recipe? Does it work? Can we have it?

    Ha, we married the same dude, Candice 😀 And I asked him about the ant deterrent recipe and it turns out that it DOES kill them, just slowly. Or something like that. He started using an analogy about walking to Murfreesboro for a free bowl of cereal and I quit paying attention (where does he come up with this stuff?) Anyways, his recipe is a mixture of dry yeast and honey. You have to do some spying on the ants to figure out where they are coming in at. Once you know how they’re getting in you put this mixture in that area. The ants will, as far as I understand, begin carrying this mixture back to their colony. Well, once that mixture is in their home it will eventually get wet and the yeast will expand in their home, forcing the survivors to start over. I’m kinda scared to put this out there. I’d hate for there to be some Ants Activist Group that will begin protesting at our house, but I’ll take that risk. But our ants seem to be going away. Except for when I bring one in to get him to clean 😀

  3. Secret Agent "CT" says:

    Okay, tell Mark that I can cook! I make a really nice steak dinner amongst over things! If he just wants cereal, we got that too. 😉

    Thanks for the recipe. I will tell Thomas to start his secret agent ant training!

  4. Secret Agent "CT" says:

    I hate that I am leaving another comment…but I am anyway. I told Thomas about the ant recipe. He told me that he “doesn’t want the ants to move. He wants them to die.” Nice, right?

    PS. The bug man is coming today. No joke. And he’s coming during Thomas’s lunch. Gross!

    • Marie says:

      CT, you crack me up! And your husband is vicious! 😀 Tell me how the bug man works out because our yeast recipe is not working (Mark insists the plan requires patience)

  5. Secret Agent "CT" says:

    Well, so far so good in regards to the bug man. I haven’t seen ants or any other bugs. So I guess it’s working.

    Thomas told me that if we see bugs to call the bug guy and he’ll come back out and spray some more. I am honestly surprised that he hasn’t called him back yet. The bug man made a mistake telling Thomas to call at the first sight of bugs…because I can promise you that he will!!

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