Confession time. Mark and I don’t recycle. Anything. The most “eco friendly” thing I’ve done all year is buy toilet paper that claims to be made from recycled products. And the only reason I did that was so I could tell Mark that all we had in the bathroom was “used toilet paper”. Because that’s funny in my world.
So I stumped myself when I decided to write about how to make Hump Day “green”. I stumped myself because I have no clue. You may wonder why I just don’t just change my topic. After all, it’s my blog and I am master of my domain, right? But that would be just too darn easy.
And I’m not easy.
I now present you with how to go “green” in the bedroom:
Google it. At work. I dare you. Seriously, there’s not tons you can do to get rid of condom waste responsibly. Use lamb skin condoms if you can. They are biodegradable. But don’t use them if you’re worried about STDs. And I would go a step further and say just don’t have sex if you’re worried you might get an STD from your bedmate. Otherwise, wrap it up in used toilet paper and toss it out. But that’s more about being a considerate person than being “eco friendly”…
I hate magazines and the airbrushed beautiful people that populate them. I don’t think there is anything more dangerous to a woman’s self-esteem than staring at pictures of “real” people that no real person will ever look like. Ever. When women feel crappy about their bodies they feel crappy in bed. Take those pages of unrealistic beauty and throw them in the trash can! I mean, recycle them. Throw them in the recycling can. Gosh. I suck at Earth Day.
Go Biking Instead of Parking
Some of you might like to get your Hump Day on in a vehicle, i.e. “go parking”. This is perfectly appropriate Earth Day behavior if you’re driving a Prius or a Hummer Hybrid, but not if you’re in a regular old gas guzzler. Take your luvah out on a tandem bike ride and doing your making out on it. Sure it isn’t “comfortable” or “private”, but going “green” is all about sacrifice. Deal.
*Make It a Date – Bonus from Secret Agent CT in the comment section
Great sex happens as the result of a great connection. Emotional foreplay, if you will. Great connections happen on great dates. Why not turn recycling into your next date night activity? Spend time bonding over sorting through garbage and marinate in the fact that your relationship SAVES THE PLANET. Rumor has it that Brad and Angie recycled on their second date. First date activity? They adopted Africa.
Thanks for the tip, CT!
Making love with Earth is not just for the Hippies anymore. Happy Earth/Hump Day!