Hump Day: Going Green in the Bedroom

I am officially introducing the Nashville Marriage Studio Blog to you
here.  And I have an Earth Day celebrating video blog up here.   I trust you’re as excited as I am.

Confession time.  Mark and I don’t recycle.  Anything.  The most “eco friendly” thing I’ve done all year is buy toilet paper that claims to be made from recycled products.  And the only reason I did that was so I could tell Mark that all we had in the bathroom was “used toilet paper”.  Because that’s funny in my world.

So I stumped myself when I decided to write about how to make Hump Day “green”.  I stumped myself because I have no clue.  You may wonder why I just don’t just change my topic.  After all, it’s my blog and I am master of my domain, right?  But that would be just too darn easy.

And I’m not easy.

I now present you with how to go “green” in the bedroom:

Recycle Condoms
Google it.  At work.  I dare you.  Seriously, there’s not tons you can do to get rid of condom waste responsibly.  Use lamb skin condoms if you can.  They are biodegradable.  But don’t use them if you’re worried about STDs.  And I would go a step further and say just don’t have sex if you’re worried you might get an STD from your bedmate.  Otherwise, wrap it up  in used toilet paper and toss it out.  But that’s more about being a considerate person than being “eco friendly”…

Recycle Magazines
I hate magazines and the airbrushed beautiful people that populate them.  I don’t think there is anything more dangerous to a woman’s self-esteem than staring at pictures of “real” people that no real person will ever look like.  Ever.  When women feel crappy about their bodies they feel crappy in bed.  Take those pages of unrealistic beauty and throw them in the trash can!  I mean, recycle them.  Throw them in the recycling can. Gosh. I suck at Earth Day.

Go Biking Instead of Parking
Some of you might like to get your Hump Day on in a vehicle, i.e. “go parking”.  This is perfectly appropriate Earth Day behavior if you’re driving a Prius or a Hummer Hybrid, but not if you’re in a regular old gas guzzler.  Take your luvah out on a tandem bike ride and doing your making out on it.  Sure it isn’t “comfortable” or “private”, but going “green” is all about sacrifice.  Deal.

*Make It a Date – Bonus from Secret Agent CT in the comment section
Great sex happens as the result of a great connection.  Emotional foreplay, if you will.  Great connections happen on great dates.  Why not turn recycling into your next date night activity?  Spend time bonding over sorting through garbage and marinate in the fact that your relationship SAVES THE PLANET.  Rumor has it that Brad and Angie recycled on their second date.  First date activity?  They adopted Africa.
Thanks for the tip, CT!

Making love with Earth is not just for the Hippies anymore.  Happy Earth/Hump Day!

4 thoughts on “Hump Day: Going Green in the Bedroom

  1. Secret Agent "CT" says:

    Marie… what do I say? First, I can’t believe you don’t recycle! Start recycling!! It’s free! (Yea to free stuff, right!) You will have way less trash. Just think about your trash sitting in a landfill forever. Hello! Forever is F.O.R.E.V.E.R! (I don’t mean that harshly eventhough it sounds that way.) 🙂

    Just get little bins and put your paper, plastic, glass, and cardboard in the appropriate bins. Then when they get full, you and Mark can take them to the local recycling center. (Our’s is at the Sam’s parking lot near our house.) Think of it as a free activity you can do together. You get to be outside and together. Aww…

    Plus as a bonus, you will feel better about yourself. I was really anti-green stuff/recycling until about a year and a half ago. Not really sure what made me decide to start recycling but we do and I don’t want to quit. It seriously makes me feel good. I started a recycling program at work. So now my work recycles.

    It’s really easy! The government had a route that already went by our building, so now we are just an added stop. They provided us with free rolling carts that we just put by the curb on our designated pick up day. Most people have a recycle bin near their office. Then the person that collects the trash does the recycling too.

    So now if someone doesn’t recycle, then I usually will take the recycle item back to my house so I can recycle it. You should really try it.

    I started in baby steps. First we only recycled the old newspaper and old magazines. Then junk mail. Then plastic bottles. Then we added cardboard. Now we do glass and aluminum too! Do it Marie! Recycle!!

    (Did my peer pressure work?)

    Love it, and I added your tip to the original post! I didn’t take the “forever” speech badly, I imagined it being more like the little dude in the movie “Sandlot”. Remember that? I love that scene and movie.

    Your peer pressure is working. Especially because you are so hardcore… you started the recycling thing at your work, too?! That’s hardcore, and I love it. Honestly, my biggest problem has been how do you organize the items between taking it to the recycling centers/getting it picked up from special bins? Do you just have a million different trash cans/containers in your kitchen? Where do you store your bins? In the garage or something?

    I’m making this happen because of you, CT. Just letting you know you’re an influencer in my world 😀

  2. Secret Agent "CT" says:

    LOL!!! Oh my goodness!! I totally meant the F.O.R.E.V.E.R. like the little kid from Sandlot. NO joke! That’s hilarious! Almost like slow-mo action.

    Yes, I did start it at work. I’m lucky that everyone was pretty receptive. They used to have a recycling program years ago that went away for unknown reasons. So I looked it up and it’s completely free to join for commercial places. (You can be just like me and start one at your work.) I just went to this website and signed up. If you want the guy’s name and number let me know. As a side note, you don’t have to separate the different items for Curby. They pick it all up in one bin and they sort it later – for FREE!

    We have 4 or 5 bins in the garage at our house with labels stating which items go in there. Paper, Plastic, aluminum, cardboard, and glass. Thomas rinses the cans, bottles, glass, etc out before putting it in the bin so it doesn’t smell. We also have lids on the bins in the garage so that no critters get in there. (I’m terrified of spiders. So this is a guarantee there are no spiders in there.) It’s really not bad. It takes a while to get the bins full, so we don’t go very often. However, if the center is close to your house you could use smaller bins and go more frequently. A friend of mine has these different colored bins that stack on top of each other with a flap thing that lifts so you don’t have to unstack them. They know what each color means and just put the correct item in there. They have theirs in the kitchen.

    I think it’s really cool that I have influenced you in such a short period of time!! I think you secretly wanted someone to try to talk you into recycling. 🙂 You are going to love it Marie!!

    How funny about the Sandlot 😀 And I think you’re right about me wanting to be influenced. It really does help to know that you’re friends do stuff like this, though. Before I thought it was just weird people who eat granola all the time (no offense to anyone who eats granola all the time… but, seriously, branch out. Get some Hummus), so it’s good to know regular people just like me are committed to recycling.

    Now does anyone want to influence me to start exercising???

  3. Jeff says:

    Save money and the Earth and be clean at the same time! Get serious and add Bathroom Bidet Sprayers to all your bathrooms. I think Dr. Oz on Oprah said it best: “if you had pee or poop on your hand, you wouldn’t wipe it off with paper, would you? You’d wash it off” Available at with these you won’t even need toilet paper any more, just a towel to dry off! Don’t worry, you can still leave some out for guests and can even make it the soft stuff without felling guilty. It’s cheap and can be installed without a plumber; and runs off the same water line to your toilet. You’ll probably pay for it in a few months of toilet paper savings. And after using one of these you won’t know how you lasted all those years with wadded up handfuls of toilet paper. As for water use a drought is always a concern and must be dealt with prudently but please remember that in the big picture the industrial water users always far exceed the water use of household users and in the case of toilet paper manufacture it is huge. The pollution and significant power use from that manufacturing process also contributes to global warming so switching to a hand bidet sprayer and lowering your toilet paper use is very green in multiple ways.

    This comment was technically in my “Spam Filter”, but when I read it I knew I needed to share. Because his point about peeing and pooping on my hand and whether I’d simply wipe with paper is a really good one. So yeah, maybe bidet sprayers is something to contemplate…(I bolded the good stuff)

  4. You are totally awesome, you know that? I giggled out loud at you 🙂

    I recently (like, last month) started recycling bottles and cans, it makes me feel good about myself to make an extra trip to the recycle bin after I dump my trash.

    I’m big on the reuse end of “reduce, reuse, recycle” and I give lots of stuff away.

    You’re too sweet. I’m so on board with this recycling thing. From the sounds of it, it’s better than Prozac on making you feel good.

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