I don’t know exactly when it happened, but it happened. I have been dethroned as my mom’s “favorite child”.
My mom is probably having a fit that I just called myself her “favorite child”. She is yelling at the computer right now: “But that’s not true! I don’t have a favorite, Marie! Stop saying that!”
Mom, it’s ok. I’m your favorite. Bobby and Melissa are fine with it. Chill out.
Except that I’m not the favorite anymore. I’d love to say I was dethroned because Bobby has a job now and can give her spending money for her trips to the Philippines. Or because her and Melissa have suddenly bonded over the Book of Esther. I would love to say either of these things, but I can’t.
Because I’ve been pushed aside for… Mark. And I have no. clue. why.
Mark and my mom have always gotten along ok, but becoming BFF’s was just not in their future for lots of reasons. If anything, I was kind of worried that after Mark and I got married their relationship would go horribly south. That something would happen to offend one of them and it would result in World War III.
But things didn’t go south. Unless by “going south” you mean traveling down to Florida to enjoy an all expense paid trip to Disney World. Because that’s a pretty fair description of Mark and my mom’s relationship, a free trip to Disney World.
It started at Christmas when, out of no where, she pulled me aside to let me know how blessed I was to have a husband like Mark. And that I should treat him better. And maybe feed him a bit more. He was looking skinny.
I attributed her silliness (FYI, I treat Mark wonderfully) to having a little too much eggnog and didn’t think much about it. Except that, before I knew it she was calling to check in on Mark. Asking what he’d like to eat for Sunday lunch. Was literally gushing when they showed up wearing the same colors on Easter. Where she demanded someone take their picture. Just the two of them.
And right when I thought it couldn’t get weirder…
Mom: What are we doing for Mark’s birthday?
Marie: I guess we’ll go to dinner and I’ll get him a cake. Why?
Mom: Well… I don’t know. I was thinking we should have a cook out. At the lake.
Marie: You mean like plan a party for him?
Mom: Yeah! And I’ll take care of the cake, don’t you worry about it.
Marie: But we haven’t a had a birthday party for anyone in, like, years… what’s the deal?
Mom: Yeah, but, ya know, it’s Mark’s birthday…
Of course. Mark’s birthday. How could I treat such a holiday so lightly?
I hope Mark is enjoying his time as my mom’s “favorite”. Because it won’t last long. Not if my smear campaign has anything to say about it…
The Favorite Child WILL rise again.
Do your parents like your significant other more than they like you? What rumors should I include in my smear campaign? What tips do you have for those who don’t get along with the S.O.’s parents?