The Search for the Holy… Toothbrush

“I hadn’t been to the dentist in forever, and when I finally went there was nothing wrong with my teeth!” said my friend-with-a-beautiful-smile, Michelle.

“How did you pull that off?” I asked.

I’d been waiting for the miracle that would allow me to avoid the dentist. I’ve even Googled “What can I do to never have to go to the dentist again?” because it’s that important to me. My interest was definitely piqued.

“I think it’s my electric toothbrush. It’s amazing,” she gushed.

Hmm, interesting. I’ve always written off electric toothbrushes. First, I don’t like putting electronic appliances IN MY MOUTH. That just sounds like a blog post disaster waiting to happen. Second, I kinda thought they were for lazy people. Seriously, you’re too lazy to move your wrist? What is America coming to, right? However, I could easily get over my prejudice if it meant I didn’t have to go to the dentist.

I had almost forgotten about the miracle of the electric toothbrush until I was grocery shopping the other day (I needed Hummus) and walked past a display of electronic toothbrushes. There were, like, a bajillion of them.  I don’t do well with a bajillion choices, especially when I don’t know what the best is.  Should I splurge and get the nicest one for $20?  Or be cheap and risk buying a crappy toothbrush that would not be able to keep me out of the dentists office?  The anxiety had me near tears.  I had to get out of there.

As soon as I got home, though, I gave my WONDERFUL husband whose birthday I did NOT forget (for too long, anyways) the task of finding us new toothbrushes.

“Mark, I need you to find us an electronic toothbrush.  I don’t want to go the dentist.  Ever again.  And Michelle says if we use these we don’t have to.  Michelle said.”

Mark liked my argument and immediately got to work like a good elf husband.  And before I knew it I was getting a toothbrush status update.

“Ok,” he started, “I’ve found our new toothbrush.  It’s the one that keeps coming up in searches, AND I’ve found it on Ebay.”

He looked very proud of himself, but me?  I was kind of disgusted.  A toothbrush from Ebay?  I did not know how to tell Mark how I felt about this.

“That’s great!”  Ok, so I suck at honesty sometimes.  I was going to give Mark the benefit of the doubt.  “How much is it?” I asked.

Keep in mind that I had just got home from looking at electric toothbrushes at Publix ranging from $6 to $20.  That’s where my head was.

“$150. And I’m getting it for $80.”

$80!?!?  WTF!  For a toothbrush?

“Wow!  That’s…great.”  Once again, not always the best with telling people how I really feel.

“Oh, wait,” he said, “I think I found it cheaper.  On Craigslist.”

Craigslist?  We were about to own a toothbrush from Craigslist?  I don’t know about you, but when I think Craigslist I think old dirty couches.  I didn’t want to brush my teeth with an old dirty couch.

“I don’t want to brush my teeth with an old dirty couch!”

“What?” asked Mark with a confused look on his face.

“Nothing.  How much is it on Craigslist?”


Fifty dollars for a toothbrush.  Wow.  Dave Ramsey would poop his pants if he knew what we were about to do.

I agreed to the purchase, and when I got home this evening I was met at the door with our straight from the box [and NOT an old dirty couch (thank God)] electric toothbrush.

To review it in one word: Marvelous.  Absolutely marvelous.  Truly worth every one of those 5,000 pennies.  And if you thought I loved my teeth before, WATCH OUT.  My teeth and I should probably get a room.

And because it’s so expensive Mark and I are sharing this engineering masterpiece.  I’m sharing a toothbrush that I paid FIFTY DOLLARS for.  I feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone.  Apparently we’re going to just switch the head thing.  Mark says it’s normal.

I say I want my own darn toothbrush.

11 thoughts on “The Search for the Holy… Toothbrush

  1. Erica says:

    Frank and I do the same thing. Except I got ours because I go to the dentist every six months, like clockwork and I get such a super-dorky sense of pride when he tells me that he can tell I brush and floss and have awesome teeth. (Secret: I totally don’t floss.)

    Ok, so this isn’t weird? Thank goodness. I needed to hear that. I’m all “We’re POOR and can’t afford separate toothbrushes!” AND I will so go to the dentist when I know I can get a report like yours. That’d be so cool to have someone other than me fawn over my teeth. 😀

  2. Rebecca says:

    Haha, this is hilarious. What’s the toothbrush? I always get good dentist reports too, but it’s because I always brush a long time. You’re supposed to brush for at least two minutes, but I once got a toothbrush with a timer (bc I was worried about it!) and found out I brush a lot longer… how long you ask? I brush until my teeth “feel” clean. Scientific, I know.

    Also, sometimes I floss – lately, more because I got this new Glide floss that, well, glides.

    It’s an Oral B Triumph. It’s seriously amazing. It does the timing thing and makes you brush for 30 seconds on each “quadrant” of your mouth. My teeth feel like I just got out of the dentist. Without the anxiety. What’s funny is that usually I get good reports at the dentist, but I didn’t go for like a year and I don’t want to go now and get a bad report.

    If you’re a “brush till I’m clean” person, I’d say that this is seriously the toothbrush for you.

  3. Michelle says:

    Ha! You know, I got my toothbrush for free on the internet. When I was in law school and had tons of extra time, I would get all sorts of things for free. I signed up for this one program in which I would review and talk about products that I received for free. Awesome, right?

    AND, I did not say that you did not have to go to the dentist.

    No, you kinda did. That’s what I heard anyways.

    Where did you find out about these programs? People always say they do this stuff and when I sign up I get to review bologna. Which is fine, I actually like bologna. But I want to review something cool. Like a Dyson. Where can I do that?
    And I’m pretty sure you’re the only person who can say “tons of extra time” in regards to LAW SCHOOL. Freak :p

    • Michelle says:

      It was I was signed up for awhile and the only cool things that I “buzzed” were the toothbrush, gum, and candy bars.

      Oh- and when I got the toothbrush, Jeff wanted to share it. I would not let him. He got his own for Christmas. (Although, I am not sure it will help him. I believe his “mountain child” genes mandate that he will loose at least a few of his teeth. I am hoping that those mountain child genes do not get passed down to our children. God, I hope that he does not read this.)

      Are you sure you don’t want to blog? I almost died with the “mountain child” comment! And then I thought, “I hope Jeff doesn’t read this!” Ha, I love it. And Jeff, if you are reading this, you’re a super cute and super smart DOCTOR mountain child. Don’t be upset. 😀

  4. Secret Agent "CT" says:

    I have an electric toothbrush too. It completely changed my world…well, at least my teeth. They feel so much more clean after brushing. If I have to use a regular toothbrush now, they just don’t feel clean. (I really brush them good too. It just doesn’t feel clean.) I’m trying to convert Thomas to an electric toothbrush but he isn’t buying it.

    I love that it’s timed and tells you when your 2 minutes is up. Sometimes, I even turn it back on to brush a little more. My dentist told me that they can tell a difference since I started using my electric toothbrush.

    Mine’s a sonicare. It’s pretty amazing. I definitly would not share my electric toothbrush with Thomas though. I don’t want to have to change the toothbrush heads; or worry that he was just using my toothbrush head and not telling me that he really was just using mine. Yucky, yucky, yucky! Plus, those toothbrush heads are kind of expensive.

    Well – I’m glad that you’ve come over to the electric toothbrush side. It’s really great. It *might* help you stay away from the dentist a little longer, but I don’t recommend it.

    PS. I asked for my toothbrush for Christmas. All of my family laughed at me but I really wanted it!!! Plus, I didn’t want to spend that money on a toothbrush. ha! I obviously received that great gift and have now converted most of my family. My mom, sister, brother, brother’s wife, and so on all have one!

    Everyday I become more and more like you 😀 And I think the sonicare is even nicer than mine. Very cool. Tell Thomas that electric is the way to go. It’s better for you. And you don’t have to go to the dentist. Ever. Michelle said. Heh.

  5. Secret Agent "CT" says:

    I don’t know if the sonicare is any nicer than the one that you got. I think in electric toothbrush world, they are all the same. Who knows? I’ve had mine for awhile.

    LOL! I was thinking the same thing!! Marie is totally trying to be my twin! Then I began to think…I wonder what else I currently do/use that she will start doing. LOL! Maybe it’s because I’m older than you, that you are simply doing the things that I did when I was your age. (I think to think you are trying to be my twin though. That makes me seem really cool, that you’d want to do the things that I am doing. ha!)

    Thomas is too cheap. He doesn’t want to spend the money on the expensive toothbrush. I’ve tried to tell him that it will change his world. He doesn’t want a changed world though. Loser…

    I love my comment section. I really do. “He doesn’t want a changed world though”. HILARIOUS.

    I want to be your twin. But I promise I won’t go all “Single White Female” on you. Promise 😀

  6. Connie says:

    Pa..leeese….. I am laughing so hard. Hay you know what you can save getting a room for you and your teeth and buy another toothbrush right????

    Brilliant. And you’re right. The full price of one of these babies is the same as a night at the Opryland Hotel… I think you’ve successfully built my case for my very own marvelous toothbrush!

  7. lizam2m says:

    I should get one of those. I just don’t have the patience for one. My dad got me one a while ago and he was on this big electric toothbrush kit, especially because it had a water floss feature. He gets excited about those things. I should get one. Last time I went to the dentist (yup, about a year ago) I was told that, due to my lack of flossing habit, I had stage 1 gum disease. I was so frightened. Before I could begin to cry, they had loaded me up with SEVEN shots of novicane so that they could clean below the gum line. They went all commando on my mouth. When I was done, I went to the bank. I think I drooled on my deposit slip. And the moral is…I floss slightly more than before. And I’m kind of scared to go back to the dentist. But, does that fear really outweigh the fear of receeding gums so I’m just all teeth? I’m figuring that out.

    Liza, I’m with you on the fear of the dentist. I’m just not interested in going there and them telling me I have to have a million surgeries or something all because I didn’t floss. I’m telling you, though, this toothbrush is amazing and I love it. And I can already tell that my gums are better. I would seriously look into it if I were you.

  8. […] Personal, prepared, Random, toothbrushes by Erica I read a post by the lovely Marie at McKinneyOatesCereal about her toothbrushes and her reluctance to share that she shares a toothbrush with her husband […]

  9. […] toothbrush? Well, we share the toothbrush. And that’s mean to steal the man’s toothbrush. I grabbed the bottle of mouthwash […]

  10. […] read a post by the lovely Marie at McKinneyOatesCereal about her toothbrushes and her reluctance to share that she shares a toothbrush with her husband […]

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