“I hadn’t been to the dentist in forever, and when I finally went there was nothing wrong with my teeth!” said my friend-with-a-beautiful-smile, Michelle.
“How did you pull that off?” I asked.
I’d been waiting for the miracle that would allow me to avoid the dentist. I’ve even Googled “What can I do to never have to go to the dentist again?” because it’s that important to me. My interest was definitely piqued.
“I think it’s my electric toothbrush. It’s amazing,” she gushed.
Hmm, interesting. I’ve always written off electric toothbrushes. First, I don’t like putting electronic appliances IN MY MOUTH. That just sounds like a blog post disaster waiting to happen. Second, I kinda thought they were for lazy people. Seriously, you’re too lazy to move your wrist? What is America coming to, right? However, I could easily get over my prejudice if it meant I didn’t have to go to the dentist.
I had almost forgotten about the miracle of the electric toothbrush until I was grocery shopping the other day (I needed Hummus) and walked past a display of electronic toothbrushes. There were, like, a bajillion of them. I don’t do well with a bajillion choices, especially when I don’t know what the best is. Should I splurge and get the nicest one for $20? Or be cheap and risk buying a crappy toothbrush that would not be able to keep me out of the dentists office? The anxiety had me near tears. I had to get out of there.
As soon as I got home, though, I gave my WONDERFUL husband whose birthday I did NOT forget (for too long, anyways) the task of finding us new toothbrushes.
“Mark, I need you to find us an electronic toothbrush. I don’t want to go the dentist. Ever again. And Michelle says if we use these we don’t have to. Michelle said.”
Mark liked my argument and immediately got to work like a good elf husband. And before I knew it I was getting a toothbrush status update.
“Ok,” he started, “I’ve found our new toothbrush. It’s the one that keeps coming up in searches, AND I’ve found it on Ebay.”
He looked very proud of himself, but me? I was kind of disgusted. A toothbrush from Ebay? I did not know how to tell Mark how I felt about this.
“That’s great!” Ok, so I suck at honesty sometimes. I was going to give Mark the benefit of the doubt. “How much is it?” I asked.
Keep in mind that I had just got home from looking at electric toothbrushes at Publix ranging from $6 to $20. That’s where my head was.
“$150. And I’m getting it for $80.”
$80!?!? WTF! For a toothbrush?
“Wow! That’s…great.” Once again, not always the best with telling people how I really feel.
“Oh, wait,” he said, “I think I found it cheaper. On Craigslist.”
Craigslist? We were about to own a toothbrush from Craigslist? I don’t know about you, but when I think Craigslist I think old dirty couches. I didn’t want to brush my teeth with an old dirty couch.
“I don’t want to brush my teeth with an old dirty couch!”
“What?” asked Mark with a confused look on his face.
“Nothing. How much is it on Craigslist?”
Fifty dollars for a toothbrush. Wow. Dave Ramsey would poop his pants if he knew what we were about to do.
I agreed to the purchase, and when I got home this evening I was met at the door with our straight from the box [and NOT an old dirty couch (thank God)] electric toothbrush.
To review it in one word: Marvelous. Absolutely marvelous. Truly worth every one of those 5,000 pennies. And if you thought I loved my teeth before, WATCH OUT. My teeth and I should probably get a room.
And because it’s so expensive Mark and I are sharing this engineering masterpiece. I’m sharing a toothbrush that I paid FIFTY DOLLARS for. I feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone. Apparently we’re going to just switch the head thing. Mark says it’s normal.
I say I want my own darn toothbrush.