I’m always his “Sweetie”

This may come as a surprise, but I am not a perfect wife.  I do lots wrong.  I keep my feelings bottled up.  I think more about me than I do about him.  I forget to put the towels up.  And I don’t cook.  But I think that last one kinda makes both of us happy.

None of this, however, beats my absolute worst wife behavior:  Getting crazy mad.

Some people can’t believe that I’d ever get crazy mad.  Because I’m adorable and all.  And when I write about being crazy, I usually do my best to put my most adorable foot forward.  

Unfortunately, Marie crazy mad is not adorable.  It’s just dramatic.  I like to yell.  And talk over you.  And look at the ceiling while you talk so that I can thoroughly communicate just how not important your opinion is.   Sometimes I cuss, but not often because I sound silly cussing. 

And I always leave.  Sometimes I just go sit in my car.  Or in our bedroom.  Or I drive around the block. 

Technically, leaving can actually be a good thing.  We shouldn’t try to talk when we’re mad.  It’s physiologically impossible.  Cooling down is good. 

Healthy leaving would sound something like this, “I’m feeling very angry right now.  I’m going to need to take a break from this conversation.  Let’s talk about this in an hour or so.  I’m going for a walk.”

My leaving, however, goes like this, “Why do you hate me and President Obama SO MUCH? (Because that’s, seriously, what all of our big fights have been about, Mark being mean to the President)  I never want to see you again!  You don’t care about me and I’m leaving! Except it’s raining, and I don’t like driving in the rain, so I’m just going to the other room, but don’t you DARE try to talk to me!”

I have stormed out of the house an average of once a month since we’ve been married.  It’s in my genes.  Each time I do this I feel like a real jerk after about 15 minutes.  And then I start to freak out.  I’ve hurt Mark.  I’ve said something mean that will leave a permanent scar on our relationship.  He hates me.

Sometimes I call as I drive back home, or I walk back to the living room with my head hanging.

“Hey,” I’ll say meekly.

“Hi, Sweetie,” he’ll say without an ounce of anger or condemnation.  And then he’ll smile.  And then he’ll open his arms to give me hug.

Every. single. time.

Not once have I been “punished” for being a crazy drama queen.  I’m ALWAYS his ‘Sweetie’.  No amount of crazy seems to be able to change that.

When I got married I wanted only one thing, for my husband to love me the way Christ loves the church.  After nearly a year of marriage (this Sunday!  My goodness time flies when you’re stomping around arguing about politics), I’m pretty sure that’s what God has given me.

I am so blessed.

9 thoughts on “I’m always his “Sweetie”

  1. Secret Agent "CT" says:

    Happy Anniversary to the crazy drama queen and her husband!! That’s really sweet that he always is in a good mood when you get back. Thomas would give me the stink eye and tell me that I wasted gas/money. LOL

    Ha, you don’t know how many times I’ve sat in the car and realized that if I turn it on I’m going to waste gas/money. So I’d just sit there. And get bored. And then I’d go back in. I’m so silly. Thank you! 😀

  2. Susan says:

    uh oh, I hope I didn’t start this one with the ammo I gave you this morning. :]

    Ha, no worries 😀 But your ammo is GOOD. I’m actually keeping that goodie in my pocket until the perfect timing!

  3. Connie says:

    Wow you sound just like I did when we first married. I grew out of it but not till I learned it got me no where. Being the “Donkey” that I am it took me a long time to learn. You are indeed blessed.

    I’m getting better. Kind of 😀 I didn’t even realize how consistently KIND he was until the other day. I was like, “Do you realize you’ve NEVER gotten upset at me for this? After, like, A YEAR?!” He’s patient. And I’m most definitely blessed 😀 Love you!

  4. lizam2m says:

    Unrelated to your post (although, I understand the leaving. My husband was into that when we first started dating. He stopped after I continually made fun of him.), have you noticed that blogspot blogs are so much prettier than wordpress blogs? What’s up with that?

    I’m not sure I’d come back if he made fun of me! Ha! Everyone I know that has blogspot always has the same “theme”, the one with the dots. Well, most everyone. Except Secret Agent CT. Hers is pretty. And what are you talking about? Yours is pretty.

    I think I want to make mine pretty next year 😀

  5. bhline says:

    If you were your client, what would you tell you about the behavior? If he does freak out, what would that prove? 🙂 Not fishing for problems, but you are a therapist (as am I) and self reflection is the toughest sometimes.

    Bhline, I would say I’m crazy :p And I don’t know what his freaking out would prove… He never does, so I’d never thought about it. I’m just glad he doesn’t. You’re right though, self reflection is tough!

  6. […]  Maybe you storm out of the room in a huff.  Or one of you snores.  Or one of you cheated.  Sometimes it’s one person that keeps making the mistake and that person gets labeled the “bad guy” in the relationship.  […]

  7. Leandra says:

    You’re amazingly lucky. Patience is such a virtue. One I lack, so I’ll start praying that the husband I get has lots of it. 🙂

    @lizam2m, I think the standard WordPress.com theme can verge on the boring side, BUT Blogger is so darn unattractive to me. And so many people use it that I’m sick of looking at it. WordPress is cleaner. It’s especially better when you host your own WordPress blog so you can use whatever theme you want.

    Leandra, I am so blessed. Ha, and have you ever heard that you should never pray for patience because then all sorts of bad things happen to test your patience? You’re a genius for praying for patience for OTHER PEOPLE. Love it!

  8. Secret Agent "CT" says:

    I agree with Marie, Leandra. I prayed for patience before. That summer the air conditioning in my car went out. I couldn’t afford at that time to get it fixed…so I was sweating it out everyday all freakin’ summer. I should note too that I was working downtown. So I had to sit in rush hour traffic twice a day with no air. It is really hot on the interstate sitting in the middle of a bunch of cars. Ugh…moral of the story. Don’t pray for patience. God will teach you a lesson!

  9. […] (One. Two. Three. And then I quit writing anniversary posts because lazy.) […]

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