Meowing makes me twitch

Meow.  Meow.  MEOW.  MEE-OOOOWWW.

That is our cat.  Nala.  But when he acts like that he is Mark’s cat, Nala.

Nala and I have had a rocky relationship from the beginning.  The week of Mark and I’s wedding, Mark’s parents were in town and we spent an evening playing dominoes.  Nala spent the evening biting my ankles.  Like FOR REAL biting my ankles.  I did not know cats bit until that night.

Do you know how embarrassing it is to be attacked by your future step-cat in front of your future in-laws? You don’t?  Well, let me tell you it’s mortifying.  I tried to play it off as if that’s just how Nala and I roll, that this whole biting thing was normal for us.  But Mark kept saying stuff like, “What’s wrong with Nala?  What did you do to him?”

Yes, worry about your cat.  Worry about the four legged creature that has no input whatsoever as to how much nookie you get.  Let’s see how that works out for you.

Like I said, Nala and I have never gotten along.

Until one day I had an idea.  What if I give Nala everything he wants?  What if I feed him wet food whenever he wants?  And make sure he always has the cleanest water possible?  And stop everything I am doing to let him play with my foot when he wants?  And never interrupt him when he falls asleep on my lap?

If I do all this then surely he will love me, and accept me as his mother.

So I basically started Mission: Wait on Nala, Hand and Paw with hopes that our relationship would be salvaged.  The rule was that whatever he wanted he got.  No questions asked.

Well, this brilliant plan has only done one thing: I have created a monster.  A gray four-legged diva.

We are woken up to meows demanding food.  It’s like he can’t even stand the idea of his food bowl being empty for longer than 30 minutes.  Don’t I know he could die? Of starvation?  What kind of mother am I?

Or been kept up late by meows demanding we let him play with his favorite toy in the whole wide world: a human foot.  I am not real sure who told him he was Nala the Foot Slayer, but I’d like to give that person a great big “Thanks a freakin’ lot”.

Nala thinks he runs this house.  And Mark says it’s my fault!

Mark:  He was not this demanding before we got married…

Marie:  What exactly are you trying to say?

Mark:  I’m just saying he knew who was the boss before…

Marie:  I’m pretty sure you just said that I was the worst cat mother ever and that you don’t want to have kids with me.  How much of that did I get right?

Mark:  I’m saying that you can tell him no sometimes.  We don’t have to respond to every meow…

Marie:  And I’m saying that I CAN’T SAY NO TO PEOPLE WITH PAWS!

I have spoiled our first born rotten, and am officially the worst cat parent in the world.  And people wonder why I’m pretty sure motherhood is NOT for me…

5 thoughts on “Meowing makes me twitch

  1. Chelsea says:

    I don’t care what your husband says, I’m impressed with your efforts. My in-laws have two cats. One of them used to always climb on my lap and dig his paws into my thighs. I used to be polite and let him. Then he ruined a pair of my pants with his claws. I’m not polite anymore. Two years… I’ve paid my dues. No cats on this lap!

    Ha, yes, lines do have to be drawn at some point, right? And this is going to sound so weird, but my favorite times with the cats are when they do that digging clawing thing. I’m weird, huh?

  2. Secret Agent "CT" says:

    Cats hate me. It’s like I have a neon sign flashing above my head screaming “ATTACK!! ATTACK!!!”. “You must attack this person immediately!!” I don’t know why cats hate me but they do. 😦

    My friend Lindsey’s cat Oreo was the only cat that ever liked me. Oreo actually let me pet him. He would rub my leg and actually purr. It was crazy!!

    So I have no cat parenting advice.

    Ha, I think cats hate everyone until they see you clean their litterbox. Once you do that they tolerate you. And I love that cat’s name! A name like Oreo means you have to be friendly!

  3. Rebekah says:

    No cat parenting advice here either. To be perfectly honest, which I know you approve of, I really am not a fan of cats. I’ve had 1 cat in my life and she lived outside. I only had her for the sole purpose of keeping mice out of the house since we lived on 200 acres. She did her job well, but we basically left each other alone.
    With babies, letting them “cry it out” works well to get them to sleep. I will probably be attacked by people who think it is cruel, but I think it is cruel to not sleep for more than 2 hours for 8 months, so crying it out is good for everyone. It might work on the cat??

    So I’ve been laughing about the “I think it is cruel to not sleep for more than 2 hours for 8 months” since last night! Too funny! But I think you’re right, I have to just let them meow it out (and just so everyone knows, I was raised with the cry it out philosophy and turned out great 😀 )

  4. Connie says:

    Cats, are not people no matter how they act , you can tell I am not a cat person. In my humble opinion they act like they own you not you them. This I have a hard time accepting, the fact they are clean when it comes to going potty is a real plus. But still give me a dog any day at least you can train them unlike most cats who train you like Nala has.

    So nobody likes cats, huh?? Goodness, and here I thought that the cat posts were why people even read this thing 😀 Oh, and you’re so right about them owning you. I have a feeling that Nala thinks that he lets us live there, like he’s doing us a favor or something! And I am, unfortunately, “whipped” by my cat. But I can’t say no to anything with paws. Paws are soooo cute!

  5. Monica says:

    LOL! The GF and I had an argument last night because she REALLY wants a cat and I am, best cast scenario, indifferent, and worst case scenario, adamantly opposed, to the idea.

    I should send her a link, so she can see what to expect.

    So what do you do about the cat hair and having a creature laying in areas where you sleep? Or am I the only nut that worries about that?

    Honestly, Nala is the best cat ever, but the meowing is driving us batty! Our other cat, Omi, is really quiet and we barely even notice she’s there most of the time. Cats, in my opinion, are really low maintenance. Like furry goldfish.

    I don’t know if it’s because we have mostly gray furniture, but I’ve never REALLY noticed a cat hair problem. We brush the cats a lot though, so I think that helps. And I love having the cats sleep on the bed with me, so you’re gonna have to find someone else that’s weird about that 😀

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: