Pseudo-guest post from Old Dude at the Airport. He looks like this.
Dude. I hate my job. I stand ALL DAY and my only purpose in life is to make sure people don’t mistake the line to the woman’s restroom for the security checkpoint line. Not only that, but my little red vest makes me look like Winnie the Pooh. NOT cool.
The worst part, however, are the idiots I have to deal with daily. Ughhh.
Let’s take last Thursday as an example. I’m standing there, making sure everyone finds their way to the security checkpoint, when this kid comes bouncing towards me. She’s cute in a “Care Bear on Speed” kind of way. I’m thinking, yeah, she’s happy, I like helping happy people, this will be a breeze…
Famous last words.
Care Bear on Speed: Hello!
Care Bear on Speed: I have a question…
Care Bear on Speed: …
Care Bear on Speed: Is this my boarding pass?
She asks this as she shows me a piece of paper THAT HAS THE WORDS BOARDING PASS WRITTEN ACROSS THE TOP.
We’re now going to refer to her as Care Bear WITHOUT A BRAIN.
Care Bear WITHOUT A BRAIN: (smiling and SERIOUSLY waiting for an answer)
Oh, dear God.
Me: Yes. (pointing to the words BOARDING PASS)
Care Bear WITHOUT A BRAIN: (eyes light up like she discovered fire… or Cheetos) Thank you so much!
My. job. sucks.
*In case it isn’t obvious, I’m the Care Bear WITHOUT A BRAIN, this IS a true story, and how the story of our trip to DC begins…