I read about relationships all the time. Like, seriously, ALL the time. And a few months before our wedding I read that the whole “smash cake in each other’s face” was a sign of passive aggression. Some times I don’t even know what passive aggressive means, but I always know that I don’t want to be it or for it to exist in my relationship.
There would be NO cake smashing. None.
The thing is, I was marrying Mark and he likes crap like that. Smashing cakes and being silly. I think it has something to do with being a dude.
Anyways, a few weeks before the wedding I sat him down and said, “We are under no circumstances whatsoever going to smash cake in each other’s faces. It looks bad.”
“Looks bad?” he asked, “What looks bad? Everybody does it.”
“Yeah, well I’m a relationship counselor and I read in Yahoo Answers a VERY important study that couples who smash cake hate each other. We don’t hate each other so we won’t smash cake. Got it?”
This was probably my biggest Bridezilla moment during the entire wedding process. I demanded nothing short of pure happiness and bliss during the cake eating.
While I trust Mark with my life, I didn’t trust that he would keep his half-hearted promise to refrain from stuffing cake up my nose. This meant that most of the pictures from the cake eating look like this…
I’ll be honest, I can’t really remember if he ended up smashing cake in my face. I think he did a little bit. Nothing too horrible, I guess, considering I can’t recall it.
In my head we had a successful non-aggression filled wedding. Until I saw this a few months later…
Here I am worried about a little cake on the dress and in reality I had just married Jack the Freakin’ Ripper.
(I mostly wanted to post the 2nd picture because when I saw it I thought, “This is so the kind of thing Dateline would drag up if I come up missing one day making the viewers believe that Mark most definitely killed me”. Just so you know, the pic is innocent…I think.)