I’m a horrible packer.
On my first day of kindergarten, for some reason, I ended up packing my own lunch. Do you know what I packed? I packed toys. Like the little toys from cereal boxes and Happy Meals. I guess I figured I’d bring the toy portion of the meal and someone else would provide the food.
My packing has not gotten any better with age. I’ll bring my bathing suit everywhere, yet forget my toothbrush. I pack athletic shoes but no socks. I’m addicted to bringing my college formal dress on nearly every trip because what if we need to make an unexpected appearance at a black-tie affair?? Yep, I’ll be prepared with my formal dress and athletic shoes. No socks.
My worst packing, however, came during a fight with Mark where I was leaving and never coming back and you can find me at Shelly’s when you’re ready to apologize to the President.
Yes. We’re still fighting about politics.
Months ago we ended up in a particularly heated debate where I decided that I was NOT going to spend another second in that house so I proceeded to “pack”.
I had never packed because of a fight before because normally when I got this upset I just went to my personal sanctuary, the McDonald’s down the street, and all I need there is a smile and $5 for the #12 meal.
I stood in our bedroom looking around for what I’d need on my vacation from married life.
A toothbrush? Well, we share the toothbrush. And that’s mean to steal the man’s toothbrush. I grabbed the bottle of mouthwash instead.
What about clothes? It was a week night, so I’d be going to work the next day. Pack work clothes, right? Not really. Instead, I grabbed a dress that I’d worn once. It’s just dressy enough that I’ve never worn it to work so, yes, that’s an awesome choice, you idiot Marie.
Well, I’m going to need to wear those heels with this dress. Grab the heels. And I’d better pack the other bra because there’s no way I’m going to fill out the top of this dress without some extra help. What kind of underwear should I pack???
Every decision to take one item led me to needing another one. The underwear reminded me about needing shower toiletries which reminded me that I’d need the straightening iron which made me wonder if it was going to rain the next day and should I bring a jacket?
My cat. I needed to pack my cat.
You know how when you think a series of really crazy thoughts there is usually one so absurd that it wakes you up and you think, “What on earth am I thinking?”
Yeah. Packing the cat should have been that thought for me. Heck, my cat doesn’t even like me and would have a fit if I tried to take her anywhere. Unfortunately, all that thought really did was cause more stress because where am I going to put the kitty litter?
It wasn’t until I dropped the shampoo bottle for the third time that it occurred to me that this plan was, well, stupid. And that I’m a drama queen. And that I probably need to apologize to Mark for being a baby. And for stealing the mouthwash. And that he should probably thank God for my really crappy packing skills because they may have saved our relationship.