With my luck this post will be at the top of a Google Search for my name

I am not going to lie. Any time a blogger predominantly writes about a relationship and then quits writing for what feels like forever I’m all, “Mark, I think such-and-such is having relationship problems.”

“Who is such-and-such?”

“This blogger that I read. She’s from Timbuktu. I don’t know her or anyone that knows her. But I read her blog because she writes about her fiance/spouse/any other kind of romantic partner.”

“You don’t know her? Yet, you read about her personal life?”

“She puts it out there.”

“And you don’t know her.”

“Why are you stuck on that minor detail. I think she’s going through a divorce/breakup.”

“I’m not sure what’s more disturbing. That you read a complete stranger’s blog or that you think I’d care.”

“All I’m saying is that I think something is up…”

Naturally, while I took my long blogging break I started to realize that there may be someone out there telling her boyfriend about this crazy married cat lady in Nashville that hadn’t blogged in over a week and maybe something was wrong. Maybe he finally got tired of her Obama-loving ways. Or maybe the stress of running a household, blog and making sure the cats were up and ready for the daily naps had broken her. Or maybe that last post was about how she was pregnant AND IT WASN’T HIS.

Well, person I don’t know with all your crazy dramatic fantasies, I can let you know that Mark and I are doing just fine.

What has kept me away from my blogging duties, you ask? A couple of things:

A) I have clients. Like lots of clients. Basically, I work all day then I spend most evenings therapizing and/or writing notes. Blogging on all fronts seemed to just slip to the bottom of my to-do list.

B) Let me just say something else about people who blog about their relationships. If you are putting your love life out there for my Google Reader pleasure and you’ve developed a readership and something happens and you guys break up/divorce, can you at least let me know what’s up? I understand keeping the gory details private, but this whole one day I’m married, the next day I’m not and I’m not so much as going to address it is kind of lame. I’m just saying…

C) Poop. Poop is the biggest reason I haven’t blogged in a long minute. It’s all I want to talk about. So I’m just going to put it out there…

My mom has always stressed the importance of having “good poop”. Her biggest concern whenever I travel is that I won’t poop because I’m scared like that. Not only do I have pooping fears, but my diet doesn’t make pooping the best most wonderful experience. Well, it’s finally clicked with me, with some help from the hubby, that I should be pooping more regularly. And it should be a better experience.

Enter Kroger-brand Raisin Bran. I start eating it everyday for breakfast and do you know that it has changed my entire life? My entire life. I’m regular and it feels amazing and I feel like a new woman. A new woman that wants to make sure everyone is pooping regularly because this poop? This poop can change your life. And I obviously don’t know if this beats childbirth, but I will say that it beats the following: graduating high school, college, and graduate school, most sex positions, chocolate cake, cheddar peppers, and Big Macs.

I’m hoping now that I got that off my chest I can continue my regular blogging schedule.

After a bathroom break, of course.

8 thoughts on “With my luck this post will be at the top of a Google Search for my name

  1. Veda says:

    YAY an update!!
    Glad to hear that you are busy with clients! I hope Nashville Marriage Studio continues to prosper!

    Aw, thank you, Veda!

  2. Haha. It’s funny because I do the same thing- I always assume things about bloggers. I’m just going to go ahead and always assume you’re pregnant. It’s more fun for me that way! πŸ™‚

    I didn’t poop my entire honeymoon.

    Ha, I remember we’re poop twins πŸ™‚ Ha, and you and my mom can start a club for people who pretend I’m pregnant :p

  3. Angelia says:

    I assume the worst when people haven’t blogged. I’ve been eating more yogurt in the last year and let me tell ya-Jamie Lee Curtis is right.- I decided I was jealous of her pooping and found out what you have Good poop can change your life. I am another honeymoon non-pooper. Any time I’m in a unfamiliar situation. Not sure what’s up with that.

    Right? It’s amazing! And I need to try to Jamie Lee’s yogurt, I’ve heard amazing things. And it sounds like the scared to poop thing is really common!

  4. Secret Agent "CT" says:

    Marie – I’m so glad you are back. I was thinking that you made another run for the border to see the mother-in-love! πŸ™‚

    Ha, I know! It’s been tempting considering the weather lately!

  5. Honey, just on the off chance that you are wondering what happened to me … Tiha and I are fine, I’ve got 4 unfinished blogs on my desktop and with all this snowy, cold and ice I’m just to depressed to finish anything.

    On a complete different note, YAY for clients!!! I’m happy your business is going well.

    And YAY and for being regular. I eat Fiber One (the yummy honey flakes kind and Activia yogurt) and I have NO PROBLEMS going! πŸ™‚

    No lie, there was one point when you were taking a break this winter when I started to wonder, but then I read something that confirmed the GF was still around. Which made me happy πŸ˜€

    Activia! That’s what I need. I’m LOVING the regular-ness. Everyone should make this a goal/priority in their life.

  6. Let me get this straight: you haven’t been blogging because you were afraid that all you would want to talk about is poop? This is the funniest reason I have ever heard. Oh my goodness. I am so glad there are people out there who are brave enough to publicly declare things like this. You made my week.

    Kathleen, you’re too funny. And it was seriously all I talked about with nearly everyone. It was not a good week to meet new people πŸ™‚

  7. […] anyways. Which is probably for the best considering I’m not afraid to talk about my bowel movements so why would I shy away from talking about […]

  8. […] The name is all that has really changed. And probably the posting schedule, as in I’m going to become more regular (and not in the life-changing Raisin Bran kind of way). […]

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