Well, we’re about 9 days into mixed species parenthood. I don’t know how I’d say we’re doing, but I will say everyone is still alive. And no one has excreted on anything fabric. So, in my book? We’re doing a damn fine job.
So good of a job, in fact, that I felt an awards ceremony was appropriate… let me invite you to the 1st Annual Petties!
Here are our winners…
Nala Oates wins in the category of Best Pet Ever
Fine. Maybe the judging was a little biased. It is Mark’s first born, what can I say? But truly, he is a pretty awesome pet. He poops in a box, lets me pick him up when I want a hug, and his most annoying quality is meow-ing too early in the morning. Oh, and he has the most pet-able fur ever.
Mac Oates wins in the category Most Likely to Have a Trust Fund
Mac is my chihuahua-in-law and I adore him. He is also the pet that lives in luxury. He has more clothes than I do, has his own bedroom (i.e. a travel cage thing that he sleeps in every night), and toys out the wazoo. He’s basically a baller and probably has better odds of getting an inheritance* than his human siblings. (*Pets can’t actually inherit anything, but they can get Trust Funds, thus the naming of the award. This info provided by Shelly P & Associates.)
Also, Mac’s drawn wearing a tux because a) again, he’s a baller and b) that’s how his mom likes to dress her boys…
Omi Oates wins in the category of Most Likely to Survive Armageddon
Omi is a straight up warrior compared to the other two animals. Nothing scares her and she isn’t interested in friendship or companionship. With the other two pets I’m not sure how long they’d survive if their humans were taken up in The Rapture, but with Omi I’m certain she’d be all “Bring it” to whatever trials and tribulations God wanted to throw her way (sorry for all the Book of Revelations lingo, but my dad is slowly turning into the old dude that only talks about the end times and I guess it’s starting to rub off. Repent!).
So those are the awards! I hope you guys enjoyed the show which was sponsored by the following:
Too much scratch paper
And Sharpie… write out loud!