Mark showed up late a few weeks ago to one of our workshops.
Me: Where have you been?
Mark: Sorry. I was waiting for someone to pick up the aquarium.
Me: Someone picked up the aquarium? Your aquarium?
Mark: Yeah, I wasn’t using it so I thought “Why not?”
Is it my birthday?
Mark was given the aquarium a year or so before we got married. He was excited about getting all sorts of exotic fish and plant life in there, but he could never get the water right. I didn’t even know that water could be wrong. But trust me when I say that I learned about some water that year. Because when Mark is learning something everyone is learning something. This is normally cool, except when the topic is water. Water, no matter its pH levels, is almost always boring.
Do I need to actually say I hated that aquarium? I hated the aquarium.
Me: Oh. Wow. That’s… great. Did you want to sneak off somewhere and HINT, HINT?
Because getting rid of that aquarium was about the same level of foreplay for me as a full body massage and huge plate of chicken alfredo.
Mark: Um, no. We’re about to do a workshop.
Me: Oh, right.
Mark: So we’ve got an extra $200 now. Score.
Me: You got money for it, too!?! Are you sure you don’t want to do it? Because I’m so down right now.
Mark: You are so weird. Now I just need to sell my bass, my keyboard, my…
He kept listing things off but I couldn’t hear him over the weeping for joy that I was doing. I don’t know who healed him from his hoarding ways but THANK YOU JESUS! Not only would there be less crap in our home, but there would be more moolah in our wallets.
If that isn’t HINT, HINT worthy I really don’t know what is.