No Edamame Allowed

The week that I found out I was pregnant was, well, stressful. It wasn’t so much because of the lifelong responsibility that was barreling towards us despite the fact that WE WEREN’T TRYING. Yes, I realize that having sex without taking any precautions would seem to say that we were trying, but trust me WE WEREN’T TRYING. I mean, people who are trying don’t immediately stand up after HINT, HINT and pray gravity works its magic, right?

What do you mean that’s not a valid form of birth control?


My stress was coming from the fact that I had no clue what to eat. My idea of a well-rounded diet was making sure to order different numbered combo meals. I’m pretty sure starting the Marshmallow off on a steady diet of cholesterol and hydrogenated oil was a surefire way to win the Crappiest Mom Award, which I don’t think I’ll truly be able to appreciate or deserve until I’m at least 6 months in, ya know?

I started racking my brain thinking of what former pregnant friends talked about eating during pregnancy and then I realized I didn’t have that many friends that I was actually close to during their pregnancy. Basically, I tried to avoid all you pregger ladies because “Ew, you have coooties!”

Just kidding.

Anyways, my friend Miranda (and co-designer of my fab office) immediately came to mind. She mentioned once that during her pregnancy she loved edamame. Edamame! Of course! Nature’s french fry!

After eating, well, A WHOLE LOT of edamame it occurred to me that this was Miranda’s pregnancy food of choice. You probably didn’t know this, but Miranda had quite the labor experience. I’m currently in therapy trying to erase the knowledge of it from my brain, but one detail that doesn’t seem to go away is that SHE FRACTURED HER PELVIS.

Dudes,  are you comprehending what I’m saying? Her baby busted out of her like the Kool-aid Man.

I’m no Angela Lansbury, but I was able to put the clues together. Edamame could possibly give Marshmallow super human strength. Like, the ability to crush bones. Sorry, little guy, but Mommy likes her bones. I tossed the edamame.

Needless to say, I’m still nutritious food ignorant. What kinds of food suggestions do you all have that will ensure I give birth to a healthy baby but NOT a Cullen spawn? The midwife reminded me to be mindful of protein since most snacks are carbs. Any suggestions? Ideas?  Because I’m getting tired of grapes.

7 thoughts on “No Edamame Allowed

  1. My main snacks are cheese and carrots. I don’t love carrots but I feel like I’m doing a good deed when I eat them. But don’t get me wrong, I still eat my fair share of Oreos and ice cream!!

  2. Secret Agent "CT" says:

    Thomas tried to convience me, when pregnant, that edamame was like candy. He lied. It was not good! The only thing that I ever craved was caramellos, jungle juice, and Captain D’s cheese sticks. Ohh…the delicious jungle juice. I would put it and the caramello in the freezer. So so so good! I also convinced the gas station store to let me buy it by the case because I was too tired to make a daily trip to the gas station. (Can you believe with this daily habit, I was still losing weight?!?)

    As for any other ideas on food…for a long time I would eat lots of fruit. Basically, I got stuck eating one thing over and over until it made me sick. Which everything did at one time or another. So I have no clue as to what are good things to eat.

    I do know that you are not supposed to have unpastuerized cheese or lunch meats unless they are heated first. Seafood only once a week or less. It seemed like there were lots of rules. Since I couldn’t really eat much, it didn’t matter to me.

  3. Miranda says:

    ….. I obviously don’t get to provide advice on this one.

    Ummmm, atleast fractures can heal??? .. That’s encouraging, right??.. … Yeah, didn’t think so.

    Well, um… You’ll be FINE, no worries 🙂

  4. Liza says:

    I lived off watermelon, Subway, and flaming hot cheetos when I was pregnant with Anna. With Buba it was watermelon and rice crispy cereal. The thought of chocolate would give me the full body shivers and hated smelling it in the same room with me. So weird! Cause I LOVE chocolate.

    Relax. Eat what you can. I would limit my big mac intake though :)! Your body will crave what it needs.

  5. Connie says:

    Humm… do what you do best Google it. Staying healthy yourself will help you and Baby Marshmallow in the end. Or you can always try asking your doctor they always seam to have answers, not what you want to hear but they are full of helpful hints when it comes to telling you HOW and WHAT to eat.

  6. Kathy says:

    I think you’re supposed to “eat a rainbow”. Which happily gives a big thumbs-up to Superman icecream, except that I don’t think you’re supposed to use food coloring to color the rainbow. (Ah, the devil’s in the details…) So maybe just keep it natural and varied, and you’re bound to cover most of the bases. 🙂

  7. Hanihe says:

    Ugh…We’re adopting…I made the mistake of watching a childbirth video a few days ago. And I made Bobby and Chris watch! Greg couldn’t man up, but I think the looks on our faces were enough for him…

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