See ya later, First Trimester

We made it to Week 14. I can officially say that I am in the 2nd trimester. For all intents and purposes the risk of miscarriage has dropped significantly and I can breathe a sigh of relief because the odds are pretty good that a watermelon will be exiting the peanut hole.


I’m feeling a million times better. I’ve heard horrible stories about other people’s morning sickness, so I hesitate to even hint at complaining about my 2 weeks of nausea and the general feeling of exhaustion.

Mark on the other hand did not handle my puny morning sickness well at all. The first time I threw up he stood behind me and prayed that God would make it stop. I thought it was sweet. When I stood up from barfing and turned around he was had tears in his eyes. Seriously? He said he hated seeing me suffer and him being unable to help. Well, I told him that he’s going to have to man up because we’re headed towards much bigger suffering than a little vomiting. In a few short months we’d be playing in the pregnancy major leagues and he needed to get his big boy pants on now. Also, this is something he should really think about the next time he insists HINT, HINT would be a great way to start the day.

We also heard Marshmallow’s heartbeat a few weeks ago. That was trippy. Before then I don’t know that it had really hit me that at this point in time there are two hearts (among other organs and body parts) currently taking up space in my body. In honor of hearing the heartbeat, Mark changed Marshmallow’s name for the day to Thumper.

The best part of feeling better is that I’m finally thinking about business again. Now trust me, I’m not a little counseling practice building tycoon by any stretch of the imagination, but in a lot of ways it is my offspring. It’s a part of who I am that I share with the world, and I’m proud of it and I love dreaming of all the ways that it can grow and change.

In the middle of the worst part of “morning sickness”, the last thing on my mind, no matter how hard I tried, was business. I just didn’t care about my little practice. I’d get an idea and then I’d go to sleep. Or I’d think of something to add to the workshop and then start crying because Mark forgot to get me ice cream and how can I help people with their marriages when mine is clearly falling apart.

I was scared that the two couldn’t coexist, the baby growing and the business growing. I was scared that my focus and identity would become consumed by all things Marshmallow. While I have mad respect for women who have dedicated their lives to motherhood, I just don’t see that ever being me. And I absolutely hated the idea of losing a part of myself that I truly loved. I haven’t read about anyone else going through an identity crisis during their first pregnancy, so I hesitate to bring it up. Maybe I am susceptible to it because we weren’t technically “trying”. Or because I’ve never seen myself as a maternal. Or because I’m hormonal and I am taking myself way too seriously. Who knows.

Thankfully, my energy came back and I’m now able to think about business stuff. Without throwing up.

And that, my friends, was a wrap up of all things 1st trimester.

4 thoughts on “See ya later, First Trimester

  1. bhline says:

    Congrats!! I just had my first baby and while I enjoy him … he has colic and it has taken over our lives. I know you will get a ton of advice, but here goes anyway …

    *** Read “Health Sleep Habits, Happy Child” – take what you want from it and throw out the rest, it’s a good book to reference and has some practical research on sleeping and babies, which is so incredibly important

    *** Put your baby to sleep drowsy but awake. I made the mistake of rocking him to sleep, now it takes me 20 to 50 minutes to put my baby to sleep. This wouldn’t be so bad if he slept, but he wakes up 3 to 5 times a night and let’s not mention the naps.

    *** If your baby fights latching on to you and fights eating, as in screams… talk to your doctor about possible Acid Reflux

    Overall it’s wonderful, but do prepare yourself and surround yourself with friends and family that can give you a break.

    I did so much research on the pregnancy and the birth of the baby that I didn’t pay as much attention to after he was born, that would be the one thing that I would change. You do learn as you go, but mine had Colic/Acid Reflux and Sleep difficulties – it really has taken a toll on our lives, but we’re waiting for month 3/4 to leave that phase behind and hopefully start a less loud one. 🙂

    Congrats again!!!

    • Secret Agent "CT" says:

      bhline – Our baby had colic until 4 and 1/2 months. People gave us all kinds of advice to “cure” it. (Nothing does and you are not a bad mother for not being able to make the baby stop crying.) Bouncing and Mylicon help but are definitely not a cure. The swing helped some too.

      We had all kinds of issues with lactose intolerance. Ugh… We finally found a formula she could tolerate and then the similac recall happened. Thanks similac! We finally had a routine and wham! Recall!!

      We used to hold our baby all the time. (I can’t think of anything other than holding her when I am home.) She now “puts the baby to bed by herself” as we say. She’s sleepy and in the crib she goes. She gives us hugs and kisses or if she’s really cranky she just waves night-night to us. Then I put her in the crib! It took a little while for it to work and it honestly still shocks me that it does. It’s great. A video moniter really helps preventing me from going in there when she crys. I can see that she is okay. I think that has become my biggest lifesaver!!

      • bhline says:

        Honestly I wouldn’t change much even with all I’ve learned to help sooth him..but I would definitely have put him to bed drowsy; the long sleep process we got him used to was our fault and is now making our already sleep deprived lives a bit tougher.

        I’m hoping we can work through this and get to where you are at quickly. 🙂

  2. Connie says:

    I love the help you get from your loving friends. If I could change one thing or give you one bit of advice it would be….. nothing you two will do a great job.
    I got good advice from a dear friend “Give no advice unless asked.” I will try to keep that in mind when my big mouth wants to spit out unwanted or better said unneeded advice. You two will do fine I am positive and anyway you have lots of friends who love you and are willing to share, me I plan to enjoy and spoil.

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