This is my sister. Melissa.
Yes, she is as precious as you’re probably thinking she is.
She dates a boy named Joey. There isn’t anything particularly notable about that except for the fact that there is now a show called… wait for it… Melissa & Joey!
A show? With you and your high school boyfriend’s name in it? Yeah, nothing screams fate like seeing your names together on ABC Family.
So, Melissa and I were hanging out in her room this past weekend watching television when a commercial for Melissa & Joey comes on.
Me: So, what’s this show about? Are they like dating or something?
Melissa: No. Not really. She’s like a mayor or something, and he’s her manny. I like it.
Me: Oh! That’s cool. It’s like Who’s the Boss?
Melissa: Um, what’s that?
And then I had a heart attack.
This beautiful, intelligent, kindhearted, not that much younger than me child didn’t know what one of the best sitcoms of all times was. Who raised her? And what were they thinking sending her out in the world without such important information?
Me: You seriously don’t know what Who’s the Boss is? Seriously? Am I really that old? I think I need a drink.
Melissa: No clue. And I don’t think you’re supposed to be drinking…
Me: Tony Danza? The housekeeper who works for Angela, the most amazing example of girl power EVER? His daughter? Samantha!
Melissa: (shakes her head)
Me: Samantha Micelli is the reason every doll I’ve ever had, and possibly this Marshmallow, were named Samantha. Alyssa Milano? Do you know Alyssa Milano?
Melissa: (looks almost scared because some people might have interpreted my shouting as anger) The name sounds familiar?
Me: She was one of the Charmed girls.
Melissa: Oh yeah! Ha, I know her.
Kids these days.
Me: Yeah, she was Samantha first. First and forever.
Melissa: I gotcha. This is going to be like how in a few years people are going to say, “Do you know Melissa Joan Heart from Melissa & Joey?” And I’m going to be like, “Uh, actually she’s from…
(wait for it)
(seriously, guys, we’re old)
(I really do wish I could have a drink)
“Uh, actually she’s from Sabrina the Teenage Witch“.
Just go ahead and shoot me now.