Mark went to a seminar the other day. He called me as he started home and shared what he’d learned and thought about the event. He said that the leader of the seminar encouraged Mark to tell me how important I am to him, that I needed to hear it.
I found this odd. I don’t know that there has been a day that has gone by since we’ve been married that Mark hasn’t verbally told me, with all the sincerity in the world (because I don’t know that Mark could speak insincerely if he wanted to), how much he loves me and values my presence in his life. A big reason this comes up with such regularity is because we pray together every morning and it’s one of the things he thanks God for nearly every day, me being his wife.
Not only does he tell me how much he treasures me, but anytime he talks to other people about me they’re sure to get an earful about how supportive and encouraging I am. Never, not once, has he ever put me down in front of a stranger or given them any reason to think anything other than good things about my role in his life.
Unless we’re talking about politics. But I digress.
So I imagine that when this seminar guy heard Mark talk about me he was probably sure that I’d never heard any of it before. That Mark, like most men, would have been unaware of how much his wife would need to know how important she is to him and would need to be reminded to share his praise with his wife. Mark doesn’t need that reminder.
But maybe I do.
It wasn’t until last night that it occurred to me that I take this rare and beautiful trait of his for granted. I take it for granted that I never have to wonder if he loves me or values what I do to support and love him as his wife.
It also occurred to me that maybe that’s why he doesn’t always appreciate my blog posts about our marriage because they don’t paint him out to be a husband that I am so proud to call mine. I argue that it’s boring to talk about good stuff, that there isn’t anything funny about all the ways that being married to him is absolutely delightful. But maybe that isn’t a good enough reason to not share…
That the silly songs he makes up in the morning are so important to getting my day started right.
That him never calling me a name or raising his voice when we fight is more important to me than words will ever express.
That I value the way he can respectfully articulate his points. Especially his political ones.
That his obsession with knowing everything about anything is really quite attractive.
That the way he makes sure little kids don’t hurt his cats when they are petting them warms my heart.
That I know without a shadow of a doubt that nothing he loves will ever get hurt under his watch.
That every day my confidence in the decision to marry him grows.