The Slug

I had a pregnant friend once tell me that one morning she was laying down, looked down at her belly and could see the outline of her child.

SHE SAW THE OUTLINE OF ANOTHER HUMAN BEING IN HER ABDOMEN AREA.

I was, like, 20 when I heard this and was all kinds of mature and started freaking out. I mean, that’s SO GROSS, right? There are sci-fi horror films based on other beings living inside of you and you want me to get all glowy about “the miracle of life” just because we THINK it’s a human in there and not an alien?

This homie don’t play that. So, other than labor, the idea of actually feeling another being inside of me was on my list of “Things I’d Most Like to Avoid While Pregnant”.

The first time I felt Marshmallow movement was actually neat. A light flicking, a little flutter. It was gentle and beautiful and I could buy into the gushiness of expectant motherhood.

A month or so later the light flick became a noticeable kick. Like a little elf was inside learning how to River Dance. Or finally getting around to hanging the family elf portraits up. Either way, not freaky. Still cute.

Then Marshmallow pulled out his newest move. The Slug.

I don’t know what he’s doing or what body part is moving around but whatever it is has a large surface area so I’m going either with his butt or his head. Given the fact that he shares my DNA I’d vote head. Anyways, this large surface area body part pushes up against me and slowly moves from one side of my body to the other.

Ew.

Seriously. There isn’t any imagery that can go with this feeling other than The Slug. And I simply refuse to get all mushy about the sensation of a slug moving around in my abdomen. It’s gross.

Slugs in your stomach is wrong. Even if it is your child.

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2 thoughts on “The Slug

  1. Liza says:

    This is so funny! Feeling and seeing a baby move in my belly is the part I miss the most. Then again I never imagined it being anything other than a baby. When you put that way….ew. Is. Right.

  2. Rachel says:

    This made me laugh. 😀 And it is also one of the many reasons why I never want to be pregnant.

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