Mark: Do you think I should watch the childbirth class again? Because there was a lot of information.
Me: I think you’re ok.
Mark: Are you sure? Because I’m thinking I should take notes.
Can I just say that the idea of Mark referring to his notes while I’m in labor makes my heart gush. He’s adorable.
Me: No, I really think you’re going to be ok.
Mark: Yeah, you’re probably right. The midwives will be there and they can tell us what we need to do.
Me: The midwives will be there, but just so you know don’t expect them to be with us the entire time. I mean, we could go into labor with every girl in Nashville and they could possibly be spread pretty thin. But you’re going to be ok. Promise.
Mark: They aren’t going to be with us the entire time? Then what are they getting paid for?
Oh dear. He just pulled out the budget. I was going to have to lay down the law. Gently, but firmly.
Me: Let me just interrupt you real quick with a friendly Public Service Announcement from your favorite crazy pregnant lady. If I even think I hear you ask someone at the hospital how much something costs while a watermelon is coming out of a peanut just consider yourself dead. No. I’m not kidding. There are times to look for “deals” and to be aware of the “budget” and watching your DEARLY BELOVED WIFE deliver your first born is, just so you know, NOT one of those times. Thank you for your time and attention.
Hopefully, I made myself clear.