One of the things everyone warns you about when you’re pregnant is that everyone and their mother is going to give you advice. What to eat, what pain killers to use during labor, how to make sure your baby sleeps through the night… the list is endless.
Lots of moms get annoyed by the constant advice, which is totally understandable. No one likes to be told what to do, especially when the advice is given in a seemingly condescending tone.
That said, here is my list of recommendations for everything from pregnancy to the 1st month of baby care. Since I’m an expert now and all.
Have Baby Making Sex in July – I got pregnant in July and had a baby in March. No one should be pregnant during a Tennessee summer. It’s inhumane.
Say thanks/Lie – If someone gives you advice that you think is nuts or doesn’t fit your lifestyle then just say thank you. Or lie and say you agree. Simple.
Belly Bands – My friend/interior decorator Miranda got me a Belly Band when I first found out I was pregnant. The Belly Band basically turns your normal pants into maternity pants meaning you don’t have to run so quickly to the maternity section at Target. I loved this thing because the idea of buying pants that I would wear for approximately 3 months (I didn’t need full on maternity pants until the 3rd trimester) was about as appealing as cankles. Note: The Belly Band is rumored to be uncomfortable for some people because it rolls and scrunches up funny, but I thought (and still think) it’s awesome.
Workout – I didn’t do this. But I did buy the DVD. A pregnancy Pilates DVD, to be exact. You are going to want a)strong abs when you’re pushing your little watermelon out and b) to not be surprised at how big you still look/feel after the baby.
Prenatal Massage – There will be no other time in your life where you want/need/deserve a massage more. This splurge is worth it. Promise. And if you’re in Nashville or Murfreesboro, I went to Susan Davis and loved her. She can either come to your home or you can go to hers. She’s totally professional and has the sweetest heart for moms. You can email her at email@example.com.
Midwives – LOVE them! Using the midwives probably seems like a total contradiction to what I find most valuable in life, namely McDonald’s. I don’t care how granola it is to use a midwife, it was probably the best decision I made. These ladies are warm, informative and I was never afraid during my delivery. I don’t know if you’ve met me, but that’s impressive. It wasn’t until the day after I had Otis that I learned that if I had been with a regular OB I would have almost certainly had a C-section (my water breaking more than 24 hours prior, 2 hours of pushing and a “sunny side up” baby).
Vanderbilt – The food was great. You got a menu and you could order any time of the day. I tried to convince Mark that the same treatment was required at home, but I guess he asked around on a New Daddy Forum or something and found out I was lying. Sigh.
Baby Names – Name your baby what you want. I know people (still) think we’re crazy for naming our little man Otis. That’s fine! The more we get to know him the more Otis truly fits, which is the most important thing anyways. This is your baby. Call him whatever you want. Just put some money aside for a legal name change. I mean, don’t be a complete jerk about it.
Friday Night Lights, Shark Tank, Happy Endings – I am not a big tv watcher. I rarely find a show that I just have to watch (never got into Biggest Loser, Lost or any of the American Idols). However, a combination of maternity leave and Hulu changed all of that. Have you seen Friday Night Lights? Love this show. Tami Taylor is my favorite person in the whole world. I almost cried when I found out the series is over. Shark Tank makes me want to turn my coffee drinking straw into a reality. Happy Endings is also a new favorite. Reminds me of my brother and his friends.
Tina Fey’s new book & The War of Art – I haven’t turned into a complete couch potato. I’m also reading. I particularly loved Tina Fey’s new book Bossypants. She’s hysterical. My second favorite person. Right after Tami Taylor.
I heart you, Tami Taylor.
The War of Art is perfect for anyone fighting with a dream, procrastination, or fear.
Raisin Bran & Stool Softeners – Everyone says that there are parts of mommyhood they don’t tell you about, aka Mommy Secrets. Yeah. Pooping was one of those secrets that all y’all moms didn’t let me in on. I’m 99% positive that I am more interested in epidural for pooping than I ever was for childbirth. Eat your fiber, Mommies, because postpartum poop is no joke.
Learn Baby Talk – I just found out about the Dunstan Baby Language system this morning. It’s pretty awesome. She breaks down the 5 different ‘words’ that babies use. Brilliant. Otis doesn’t cry a lot, but I’m planning to pay closer attention to see if knowing these words helps me better anticipate his needs. It only works for babies between the ages of 0 and 3 months. Here’s her segment on Oprah.
Prayer and Church – I don’t know if there is anything that I’ve experienced that is more spiritual than carrying a child, giving birth, and now caring for Otis. When the Bible talks about God knowing you in your mother’s womb? Boggles my mind. I just felt really aware of God’s presence the whole time I was pregnant and belonging to a church where Jesus is flat out worshipped just made Him all the more real in my life.
And that completes my list of Mommy Recommendations. Anyone have anything else they’d like to share?