Jay-Z’s Protégé

Quick backstory:

My freshman year of college I had a crush on a guy named Jeff A. We became great friends and, during a patch of time I happened to be single, we even went on a date. At the end of the date we decided that we were better friends. A few weeks later my best friend from high school, Michelle Z, drove through our college town and a whole group of us met up at Steak n’ Shake. That group included Jeff A.

Have you ever watched someone fall in love?

I have. I watched Jeff become smitten with Michelle. And I watched Michelle totally not notice. Or care. Heh.

It wasn’t long before Jeff and Michelle were talking all the time on AOL Instant Messenger. This part of the story is fuzzy, but I feel like he got her IM name in a sneaky manner. Shelly will have to remind me of the details. Because Shelly never forgets. The part of the story that isn’t fuzzy, however, is that Jeff drove us mad with his bellyaching and over-analyzing: “Do you think she likes me? I mean, she said this, but do you think that means this? Or do you think it means that? God, I hope it means this.”

Thankfully, Michelle married him and he finally shut up.

And then they had a baby! A beautiful baby girl, Baby Z-A, that I got to meet this weekend. And she’s perfect, ya’ll.She’s not a huge fan of anyone other than her mother. But I understand because I’m pretty in love with her mama, too.

More importantly, Otis got to meet Baby Z-A. And he liked.

Friends, my baby has skillz. Watch him in action:


I give the back story because I just want to remind Jeff what it was like being a single dude. Dating (even if ever so briefly) within a group of best friends (the guy has balls, right?) and thinking whatever thoughts he thought about somebody’s little girl girls.

And then I would like to ask him to not  shoot my baby. Even though he totally used his big pimpin’ skillz on her.

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