Mark: Ow! Otis bit my finger. Look. (shows me a finger with a couple of bite marks)
Me: Seriously? Otis tore up my-
Mark: I don’t want to hear that!
Me: But he did. I have the stitches to prove it.
Mark: Well… that’s not my fault.
My Face: WTF?!
Mark: I got him in there. You just had to get him out.
The Poor Mom 
This is perhaps the funniest post ON. EARTH. Love you two : )
This is hilarious! You crack me up.