I like writing “real” posts. Really, I do.
But I have so many little stories that I want to document but I can’t make them real posts because they are just these little snippets of a memory that I want to capture, not write a book about.
1. Otis loves lawnmowers. Have I mentioned that, yet?
His body literally shakes with excitement when he hears one in the distance. This video of him and our subdivision’s lawn guy is a Sam Graham Instagram favorite. The emotional range in those 15 seconds is truly epic.
2. The plunger.
Our child is a wee bit OCD about some really odd things. One odd thing is how the plunger stands.
I’ll be in the bathroom doing my bidness and he’ll barge in like he owns the place. He looks around and finds the plunger. You can see the storm brewing in his eyes, and I start begging from my… incapacitated position.
But it’s too late. It’s always too late.
He wants the plunger handle to lean against the wall AND the rubber plunger part to stay completely on the ground..
It’s physically, scientifically, gravitationally, and philosophically impossible for a plunger to lean the way Otis wants it to. Go ahead. Try. I’ll wait.
But my little boy doesn’t understand physics or science or philosophy. So he loses it.
Over a plunger. While I’m peeing.
3. The genius.
I know every other mom in America is all, “My kid only gets 30 minutes of screen time a day… maybe.” This is awesome and you’re a WAY better mama bear than me.
But do you know what my genius can do? He can do puzzles on his tablet. All kinds of puzzles. All day long he does the puzzles.
Even more impressive? He does puzzles on a Kindle Fire. Have you played with a Kindle Fire? They are like the Rubik’s Cube of tablets. And he navigates that thing like a regular Columbus. Except Otis actually gets to where he intends to go and doesn’t destroy an entire race of people in the process.
And when he puts those puzzles together you know that the crowd goes wild. Each and every time.
4. The sibling.
However, I think this morning’s Storycorp interview of a brother and sister had me all kinds of weepy and totally willing to participate in baby-making activities no matter the number of flowers on the branch. (Not my branch below, FYI)
5. The Flashlight.
In case you were wondering, I do think about more than Otis and future babies. Lately, I’ve been feeling very sorry for the creators of the iPhone Flashlight App.
I use the flashlight all of the time, especially getting ready in the morning because I’m not smart enough to lay clothes out at night so I’m usually digging around in my
hamper closet looking for something clean to wear without waking anyone up. I would say that, right after the PBS Kids App, it’s the most important and life-changing app I own.
But the ads! My goodness the ads!
You can breathe on it wrong and you’ve clicked on an ad for hemorrhoid cream or a very loud commercial for heartburn medicine featuring Larry the Cable Guy.
I get that they need to monetize. I get it. But the problem is that I’m using their Flashlight app because I want to look at something NOT on my phone. You don’t have my eyeballs and scaring me with Larry the Cable Guy’s heartburn testimony at 5 in the morning while I’m digging through my underwear drawer is not how you win friends and influence people.