For this Five on Friday I thought I’d talk about 5 things that make our marriage work for us because, um, why not, right?
- I’m on baby duty after work, and Mark takes care of the chores.
When I get home from work I am Just Mom. I take care of Otis. I entertain him. I change his diapers. I feed him. I discipline him when he starts acting crazy.
Mark is in charge of the chores. He makes the dinner and cleans up the dinner. He starts laundry (I usually have to remind him #keepitreal #heaintamindreader). He cleans up before I get home so the house is usually pretty nice when I walk in and a disaster when I go to bed because Otis and I are messy, messy creatures.
The faster Mark gets all of the daily things done the faster he gets to do whatever he wants. I fully support him zoning out for the rest of the night because hanging out with a toddler all day is tiring. I get to come home and just enjoy my baby.
Best of both worlds, right?
- Our house is messy.
Mark is still a dude. His idea of clean and my idea of clean aren’t exactly the same thing, but I think this is a really great example of choosing your battles. I could give him heck about incorrectly folded toddler clothes or the 32 jackets hanging on the staircase rail, but why? I don’t want to spend the evening upset and no one is coming over so who cares? Also, all those jackets are probably mine so…
- Watch the clock.
We watch our time like hawks. We make sure Mark gets plenty of alone time because he’s an Introvert and needs it.
I make sure to get plenty of Otis time because I’m a mama bear and I need it.
And donut time brings the whole family together.
- Say thank you.
Every person in a household is doing something to make it better. Even if they’re the only one that understands the contribution. Need an example?
My tires need to be replaced, but we’re kinda lazy. In the mean time, Mark looks at my tires nearly every day to make sure they are all the way inflated. Ok, I don’t know what he’s looking for because they always look great to me, but he always insists that I need to let him put air in them. But he usually waits to put air until I’m walking out the door. But you guys know me, right? If I’m walking out the door that probably means I was supposed to be somewhere 5 minutes ago. So I’m all..
But then he starts talking about car accidents and death and then I’m all, “Fine, whatever. MAKE ME LATE.”
And then he feels unappreciated because, well, I don’t appreciate him. And when he’s done I drive off mad, but then start realizing that he really does care and doesn’t want me to die and then I call him and I’m all…
Appreciate each other even if you don’t understand each other.
- Keep it clean.
We talk all of the time. ALL OF THE TIME. Sometimes our talks sound like Steel Magnolias and sometimes they sound like Fight Club, but we always talk.
Talking, for us, is like emotional clean up. We make sure that we’ve dealt with any hurtful words or building resentment. Basically, our marriage is the only thing we “clean” on a regular basis, and that’s fine by me. Sorry, Upstairs Bathroom.
What are your marriage/love secrets?