Five on Friday: Things I’m Learning

1. Otis is always really clingy when we first get somewhere. This past weekend we went to a party to celebrate Baby E’s first birthday and there were lots of new people there so I knew that Otis would do his best impression of a koala bear most of the day, and he did. But about an hour in to the party he started getting comfortable and was walking around the yard, chasing bubbles, and being uber dramatic about going down steps.

Here’s the thing. As soon as he got comfortable and started making friends and influencing people I noticed that I WAS THE ONE HAVING SEPARATION ANXIETY. Where am I supposed to put my hands? Who am I supposed to talk to? WHY AM I SO AWKWARD?!?!

Basically, I realized that I’m not Otis’s security blanket.

No.

He is mine.

2. A few years ago I told my songwriter husband that writing a blog post is so much more difficult than writing a song. I mean, a song is like 60 words tops. A blog post? As many words as you’d like, but usually a ton more than 60.

I even went so far as to say that if I wanted to I could write a Grammy-winning song. I said that. Those words came out of my mouth and into my songwriter husband’s ears.

Well, Mark’s gotten back on the musical horse and has been working on a song and he asked for my help since, you know, I can write Grammy-winning songs just like that.

Y’all. Songwriting is forreal hard.

Every time I suggested something he was all, “Well, that’s nice, but it isn’t singable.”

Not singable? It rhymed. Making it singable is Mariah’s job. Duh.

Anyways, songwriting makes my head hurt so every time Mark comes in the room asking what I think about some lyric I’m all…

3. A few weeks ago I convinced Otis I was a magician. He would hold something in his outstretched hand (like my wedding ring because everyone lets their 2-year old play with their jewelry, right?) and I would wave my hand over it, say “Abra Ca Dabra”, swipe the ring, and exclaim that it had disappeared!

He loved it.

Like, if any other kid saw my magic show they’d be all…

But my kid? He’s all…

And that’s how I know he’s mine.

4. I was 4 days late for my period this week, and was convinced that I was pregnant. I was talking to Mark about it and he says, “Yeah, I’d be a little irritated if you were pregnant.”

“Irritated? Who would you be irritated with?”

“You, I guess.”

“You know how this happens, right? You KNOW that this happens because of HINT, HINT that YOU ask for. THAT YOU ASK FOR.”

(PS I’m not pregnant. Just late. Which is sad because that officially means my entire being is incapable of showing up on time to anything.)

5. I got a Galaxy S4, and I just have to say that Otis and I really miss our iPhone. Yes, Otis played with my iPhone a lot, and he loved it. It’s easy and intuitive and the Galaxy is a lot of things, but right now it doesn’t feel very intuitive. I’m fine with the learning curve, but my son? His anger at this phone is kind of hilarious. He goes in looking for a Caillou video and comes out looking like…

He should totally be in an Apple ad if Apple was comfortable admitting that they are the Fisher-Price of smart phones.

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