Olivia Wilde named her son Otis. Which basically means I’m being Single White Femaled by one of the funniest AND hottest celebs of our time.
It is so hard being my level of cool.
Now that our relationship (me and Olivia… keep up, People) has progressed to sharing a brain when it comes to baby naming, I’ve taken time out of my schedule to imagine how our first play date would go down…
1. The Ask
Hey, Olivia. It’s me. Marie. That blogger you love and named your kid after my kid. You wanna hang out? Go on a mommy date?
Yeah. I thought so.
2. The Place
I was thinking we could go to this little place around the corner. They serve all kinds of food and have a place for the kids to play. Your 2-day old will love it. Have you heard of the McDonald’s Play Place?
3. The Conversation
So how is breastfeeding going? Are your boobs full?
(No, seriously, you can’t talk about breastfeeding on a mommy date with out touching your boobs. It’s impossible.)
How are you and Jason doing? Everyone sleeping ok?
Is your Otis circumcised? Because I have an opinion that I think you need to consider…
Got it. Touchy subject. #pregnancyhormones
4. The Food
So, how’s your Big Mac?
Yeah, the food here is legit. And totally great for nursing.
5. The Goodbye
Well, I had a great time, but I must bounce. I’m meeting up with Drew Barrymore for Mommy-and-Me Yoga. But quick question, how much fun was this mommy date? Please use a dance move to express your joy because there really aren’t a lot of GIFs of you that aren’t simply displaying your unfair amount of hotness.
Aw! Me, too! See you and Little-er O later!