I didn’t even know Facebook Mom Groups existed until a couple of years ago. A friend told me to join the Nashville one because sometimes they had interesting questions/conversations about marriage post-baby. From there I found an entire subculture of mom groups on Facebook.
There were the Natural Moms. The Organic Natural Moms. The Organic Natural Crunchy Parents (because Dads are people, too!). The Religious Parents. The NOT Religious Parents. The Moms That Work. The Moms That Babywear. The Moms That Drink Wine at the Playdate.
If you aren’t a parent to a young child right now you probably think I’m joking. But I’m not. There is a Facebook group for every possible parenting style/theology/philosophy/circumstance imaginable. (Seriously, I was/am in a group for multi-racial parents and for attachment parents that work outside the home. NOT JOKING.)
I don’t actively check out what these groups are talking about, but every once in a while a conversation from the Nashville Moms will pop into my feed and I just thought I’d share the comments/questions that interest me the most:
“I’m going to get my boobs done. Anyone have any suggestions?”
The first time I saw this type of question on a local Facebook group I was like:
Why are you posting that question on a public forum?
But then I get curious. What does a person thinking about a boob job’s boobs look like? I mean, not actually look like, but, like, in their Facebook profile pic? Asking for a friend, of course.
The stalking begins.
“I just got mine done!”
Inevitably a whole bunch of women join the conversation and start talking about getting their boobs done, and I spend the rest of the day like this:
“My baby is vomiting/bleeding/hit its head/has ebola-like symptoms. Should I go to the doctor?”
I totally understand not knowing when something is an emergency when it comes to your child. Totally. But I like to ask people I actually know for their opinions so that I can judge who to listen to and who to ignore. I mean, how do you know if the person that just told you it wasn’t a big deal that your kid stabbed himself in the eye with a fork because cells know how to heal themselves and just put some lavender oil on it actually knows what they are talking about? How do you know if they graduated 3rd grade? How do you know that they aren’t an idiot? HOW DO YOU KNOW??? WHY ARE YOU TRUSTING STRANGERS?!?!
“I discipline my kids with kisses, they don’t know what the Internet is, and they’ve never even been in the room with a gluten. But I guess I just love my kids. *shrug*”
And then I go to their Facebook page to be all silently judgey while eating my Big Mac because #human.
“Any suggestions on the very best photographer/nanny/doula/first-world service that costs nothing or at least next to nothing. We are a family of X and we just don’t have money to throw around.”
“Ugh. Photographers/Doulas/Nannies are SO EXPENSIVE! I want their services, but those prices are outrageous! Who do they think they are?”
I know this attitude is everywhere, but I see it so much in mom groups. Everyone wants quality without compensation and it annoys me to no end, especially when they throw out the number of kids or their single-income status… Um, you know those are choices, right?
And who do they think they are? Someone with a service you want. #capitalism
“I just had the worst experience at (Insert Doctor/Daycare/Hospital) and I will never go back to that place again! Looking for recs!”
You’re going to tell me you have a juicy story, not tell me the details, AND then want my help? Yeah. That’s not how this works. You show me yours and then I’ll tell you mine.
Any mom group behavior that annoys/humors/interests you?