Letters to Margaret

Hi, Margaret.

You probably already know this, but your name isn’t Margaret*. It’s just what your brother calls you because he gets way too much screen time.

Finding out you were in my belly has been surreal. Like, I have possibly wanted you so bad for so long that I can’ believe it. Or I’m just terrified because the way you will change our little family’s dynamics feels so much bigger than anything that has happened to us before.

It might be a second child thing, but I keep forgetting you’re even here. That you’re real.

All the forgetting and disbelief and fear is so different from how I felt with your brother. And that scares me. Because is it possible to not fall in love with your child? My love for Otis feels so huge that I cannot in any way imagine my heart being able to hold more love or love that huge for another person…

And then your little 1-inch long body popped up on the screen.

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Wow. That’s my baby. 

I’m still terrified. I still forget you’re here. I’m still a tiny bit shocked. But I’m no longer worried I won’t love you because, wow, you’re my baby.

See you on the outside!
Marie

*Margaret is Daniel Tiger’s little sister. We don’t know if we’re having a girl or a boy, but we do know that trying to convince Otis he’s wrong about the name is a hill we don’t want to die on quite yet so… “Yes, sweetheart, meet your brother, Margaret.”

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One thought on “Letters to Margaret

  1. […] I got pregnant. This one is especially funny because by February I had given up/surrendered this ‘dream.’ I want to write more about this later, but I had moved on from Baby #2 being how God was going to grow our family was happily waiting to see how He would make sure Otis wasn’t going to spend Christmas 2046 alone. But God. […]

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