- A car
- A trip to Disney World
- A pregnancy
- A prayer life
- A Grammy
I made it back in January and, like most ‘resolutions,’ had forgotten about it before spring started. I stumbled upon the document last week as I did my yearly cleanup, and was stunned that 3 of my 5 things actually came into fruition.
I got pregnant. This one is especially funny because by February I had given up/surrendered this ‘dream.’ I want to write more about this later, but I had moved on from Baby #2 being how God was going to grow our family was happily waiting to see how He would make sure Otis wasn’t going to spend Christmas 2046 alone. But God.
I got a car. This one happened ‘ right before the buzzer.’ A couple of weeks before Christmas my car ‘died’ on the way home from work. A couple of weeks prior to that I had made a spreadsheet with My Plan. We had a nugget of cash I wanted to start squirreling away, pretending it was a car payment, so that in 2018 we would a) be in the habit of making a car payment and b) have a downpayment/head start on said car payment. God thought that plan was dumb-ish, and instead just gave us a car via my in-laws. Yeah. My in-laws gave us their car. I didn’t know what to say either. I want to write more about this one, too.
I got a prayer life. I started taking God seriously this year. I no longer wanted to be this Meh Christian that believed that God existed, but led a life that didn’t look that different from people that believed God was spaghetti monster. If I believed in a God that rose from the dead and healed the blind and was bigger than any pharaoh or president, then my life would look different. And if I believed that that same God was my Father and that I had the same access to Him that Ivanka has to the Donald, then my life would look powerful. I started a Read the Bible in a Year plan and I’m farther than I’ve ever been (Day 120). I wake up excited to read the Bible. And I’m bringing everything to God in prayer. EVERYTHING. I cannot explain how this has changed my marriage. And while I forgot that I had put the War Room lady’s pic on my ‘vision board’ I have thought numerous times throughout the year that I don’t get to be an old lady with thousands of stories of how God showed up if I don’t start praying today.
And there were things I didn’t ‘get.’ Otis didn’t get to go to Disney World. But I still want that so badly for him. Otis is physically unable to hide his emotions, and while this causes more than enough grief (hello, Temper Tantrums) this characteristic also brings me so much joy. When this little guy is happy he cannot even. And I’m 99% he would weep with joy if he got to see Woody from Toy Story in person.
And we didn’t win any Grammys. And by ‘we’ I obviously mean Mark. But after a year of praying, I’ve never felt more confident that his musical talents are going to be used the way God wants them to be used, Grammy or no Grammy.
I don’t look at God like He’s some magical genie. One thing I repeat to myself over and over and over again is, “He’s God and He is loving even if you don’t get what you want.” But when He does bless me and my family? When I get a positive pregnancy test after years of thinking it wouldn’t happen? When I get car keys handed to me by in-laws that love me like they raised me? When I get to spend every morning learning more about the heart of the Creator of the Universe because He wrote an entire history of love letters to us? Well, I’m going to write a blog post and whisper, “Thank you, Lord. For everything.”