And Both the Hands Go Up

Dear Miss Wren,
You are 10 months old. Two hands, Little Lady. TWO WHOLE HANDS!

You play with my ears now when you nurse. I guess loving eye contact is for the weak.

You met Santa. You had no time for that.

You and the cat! I cannot with how much you love Nala, and only Nala. Sorry, Omi.

You started walking a couple of days after Christmas. We kind of freaked out. It’s only a couple of weeks later and you’re a pretty solid walker. I have never been so convinced that so much about us is just how we’re wired, and you, my darling, are wired for greatness. And not just because you’re walking ‘early,’ but because I can just sense that you take this world so seriously. And you take your role in it so seriously. Thank you for being you.

I watch you with the Big Kahuna. You love him. He can bring out a joy that none of us can. But you don’t let him cross any lines, and you don’t mess around when it comes to getting what you want. If he is being too rough you yell and look directly at me with eyes that say, ‘You better get this situation under control!’ If he has something you want you have no qualms with taking it. And I just have to say that every time you steal something and hustle off as fast those legs can go I cannot stop smiling.

I watch you with him and I wonder if it isn’t some God ordained training ground. It’s like watching David walk up to Goliath. I marvel at your, well, your balls. They’re huge. I wonder if all of this isn’t preparing you to be ready to fight giants in the future. I’m crying thinking about it because I don’t want you to ever go up against a giant, but I also want to know that you’ve been ready since day one if you do have to.

I am not as a great a writer as I used to be. I don’t have time to let the thoughts and feelings tumble around until they form the words that match. You guys keep me too busy for all of that navel gazing. And as this year with you gets closer and closer I’m terrified that you aren’t going to know how deeply loved you are. How much you inspire me to be a better mom, wife, human. How that guarded smirk of yours gives me so much joy. How you are your father in so many ways and I’m falling more in love with him because of you.

Love you with everything,

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