Category Archives: Career

Age Like A Vampire

This is Edward Cullen. He was born in 1901. That means he’s, like, really old.

But you’d never know it because he’s a faithful user of Rodan+Fields’ Anti-Age Regimen.

Ok. I’m lying. Obvs.

But I highly doubt you’d want to go through what he did to keep that chiseled yet glittery skin. Unless you’re down with almost dying during a plague and then getting bitten by a doctor/vampire only to find your one true love one hundred years later and spend the next couple years doing everything you can to keep her accident prone mortal self alive.

I digress.

We all want to keep our youthful appearance and short of Botox (ew) I’m really starting to believe the Anti-age Regimen is your best bet.

Lips are where you’ll first see aging… (I love the lip renewing serum)

And hands? Raise your hand if you want to look like the crypt keeper? Yeah. The hand regimen is amazing.

So, unless you fall in love with a hundred year old vampire and convince him to turn you in to one as well, you might want to seriously consider starting to take some serious care of that skin of yours.

Skin. It’s a beautiful thing. Wear it well.

But isn’t Rodan+Fields a Pyramid Scheme?

Um, no.

I’ll be honest. I thought so, too, at first. Because we’ve all been taught for the warning bells to go off when there’s even a hint of asking someone to buy or join, right?

But then I thought about it some more and I realized how wrong I was. And Gary Vaynerchuck, my favorite Internet celebrity, showed me why.

We don’t pay attention to advertisements. If you have Tivo, you fast forward through commercials. And everyone is too busy texting while they’re driving to notice billboards.

As a small business owner, it’s the question I struggle with daily. How on earth do I get my services/product in front of people that will want to buy it? And even better, how do I get them to talk about it?

Gary Vaynerchuk says that in today’s world you have to start selling to people one-on-one. The mass platforms (television, newspapers, magazines) are dying a slow death.

What I love is that Dr. Rodan and Dr. Fields saw the same thing.

Their product was in all of the high end stores. Not only did it have shelf space it was also a top seller.  But after the success of Proactiv the doctors had to wonder why their anti-age and sun damage regimes weren’t household names yet. So they started asking questions and they found out that Estee Lauder (the company they partnered with to get into the department stores, read the 2003 press release here) wasn’t responsible for their sales. Women using their products and telling their girlfriends was responsible for their success.

Rodan+Fields tested the direct sales waters and discussed making the switch with Estee Lauder by its side. Unfortunately, Estee Lauder knew it wasn’t the right organization for the direct sales aspect and sold the rights back to R+F (while keeping a vested interest because they knew the money was coming). So they restructured the companies to pay the people who were really selling the products: you, the consumer.

Not only that, they pay tons better than trying to get your foot in the mommyblogger door, which is another post for another day.

Products aren’t sold with commercials or celebrity endorsements. Gary Vaynerchuk sees it. The doctors saw it. And I see it too.

Want to do coffee some time to learn if it’s a good fit for you? Email me ( and we’ll make it happen!


The Gift of Prophecy

Me: Self-fulfilling prophecy. Good thing or bad thing?
Mark: What are you talking about?
Me: You know what a self-fulfilling prophecy is?
Mark: Yes.
Me: Is it a good thing or a bad thing?
Mark: A bad thing?

And that, my friends, is what pillow talk sounds like in our house.

But seriously. If you’ve ever talked about a self-fulfilling prophecy was it about a good thing or a bad thing?

I think we’ve made it a bad thing when really it’s just a neutral thing.

Because when our friend who hasn’t had a job in a year goes on an interview and says “I don’t think I’ll get it” and then she doesn’t we are likely to think “self-fulfilling prophecy”. She probably thought she wouldn’t get the job before she even got up that morning so she didn’t smile as bright or talk herself up enough and who wants to hire someone with a dull smile and no confidence, right? Self-fulfilling prophecy.

Or the friend who thinks his girlfriend is about to break up with him and he sits and frets about it and then a year later he finds out she’s been falling in love with her best friend’s brother and AHA! He was right. Self-fulfilling prophecy.

Most of us would agree that a girl that looks in the mirror every morning and repeats “I’m ugly” will feel ugly and then act ugly and then people will treat her like she’s ugly which will affirm that she is, in fact, ugly. Even if she looks like Angelina Jolie. Or Jennifer Aniston. Self-fulfilling prophecy.

But what about being a positive self-fulfilling prophet?

If you can flood your brain with negative thoughts and have negative outcomes, couldn’t you just as easily flood your brain with positive thoughts and create a positive reality? That doesn’t sit so easily with us, does it? We can accept that we create negative, but can we accept that we are also just as empowered to create positive? Self-fulfilling prophecy.

I realize that there are tons of Christians that I know and love that will accuse me of being New Agey and whatnot. That’s fine, but if you’re taking your Bible seriously you can’t ignore this:

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:8

R+F Saturday: Mark’s Pores

Me: Your pores are so much smaller! This stuff is working.

Mark: Seriously? You’re not just saying that?

Me: No, your pores are smaller and your face is smoother.

Mark: Cool… just to make sure we’re on the same page, what are pores?

Mark is using the Soothe Regimen for sensitive skin. I must say, it’s kind of adorable going through your face washing regimen with your sweetie by your side.
Here is an example of the kind of results you can get on the Soothe Regimen.

Want to figure out what regimen would work best for you? Check out the R+F Solution Tool.

McDonald’s Monopoly was our plan?

I had hemmed and hawed about Rodan+Fields for  awhile. Could I do it? I am a horrible salesperson. I write regularly about poor hygiene and now I wanted to sell skincare? Aren’t these things scams? Am I going to look like an idiot if I do this?

But I could NOT get rid of the nagging feeling that this business was too perfect to ignore.

So I left a Starbucks meeting with my not-quite-yet sponsor ready to tell Mark that we had to do this. It was insane not to do this.

I swung by McDonald’s to pick up lunch. And somewhere between McDonald’s and home I lost my nerve. I was not going to do this. It’s not for me. I can’t afford to waste the time or money. And I’ve ignored plenty of deep-down-in-my-gut feelings and I can ignore this one too.

We started to eat lunch and Mark gets real excited.

Mark: Oh, cool! It’s Monopoly time again!

Did you know that this is the 19th year of McDonald’s Monopoly? 19 years! And I haven’t won more than a free french fry. And I am a winner.

But something hit me. McDonald’s Monopoly was our plan? I mean, I was fine trusting them with our physical health, but our financial health, too? Even I have a line.

Mark: Is Boardwalk or Park Place the hard one to get?

Me: Oh my gosh. This is insane. We’re doing Rodan+Fields. And whatever you have in your hand is the one everyone gets.

I’m not a control freak by any stretch of the imagination, but I did want more control over our financial future than hoping to strike it rich with Boardwalk. Or Park Place. Whichever.

And that is the story of how we became R+F consultants.

*If you want to start writing your R+F story call (615.504.0634) or email me ( and we can have a McDonald’s date to see if Rodan+Fields is a right fit for you and your family. 

Why I decided to join Rodan + Fields

This guy.

***In case you, for whatever reason, don’t make it all the way through this post, please go sign up to get your McKinney-Oates Cereal 2011 Thanksgiving card here. Please don’t be shy. Ok, continue reading…***

There are actually lots of reasons I decided to get on the Rodan+Fields train, but he’s the biggest one. And not just physically. Heh.

I’m totally fine with making size jokes about my baby because a) he’s a BABY and babies don’t have body image issues, and b) big is beautiful, I don’t care what the warped media says.

I want to be home with him as much as I possibly can. If there is one thing these last 6 months have taught me it’s that you can’t go backwards in time. Well, you kind of can with Rodan+Fields Reverse skincare regimen.

OMG, I’m awesome at this selling skincare thing!

But seriously, I hate that I’m not with him all of the time. I hate that he is growing like a very chubby weed and that even if I was a stay-at-home-mom it would go by too fast. And I don’t want to get to the end of my life wishing I’d spent more time with him and Mark and all of our future children.

That’s right. Children. If I had it my way I’d have 5 more kids. What can I say? Little people are fun.

I’m now a consultant for Rodan+Fields. In case you didn’t know, they are the same doctors that created Proactive. Remember Proactive? The skincare with the infomercial that helped everyone’s teenage acne? Even P-Diddy’s and Katy Perry’s? So getting on this train is kind of like becoming the next P-Diddy. And who doesn’t want that?

Jay-Z. And probably most of America. But I digress. 

More than all of that, I got excited because I thought of all of my friends that want to spend more time with their new babies. And I thought of all the people that would love to own their own business, but don’t know what that business would be and I genuinely feel like Rodan+Fields is that answer.

Other acceptable answers? Investing in Google in 1996.

I’m feeling really optimistic about this venture and I’d love for anyone that can catch the vision to join me. More than that, I know that lots of people are getting lots of different dreams off the ground and being (and staying) optimistic is one of the hardest parts of turning dreams into doing.

So, not only am I taking names for my Thanksgiving card mailing list (because the procrastination ends today…or tomorrow) I am also starting a Tartar Sauce Club.

Now you think I’ve really lost it.

Zig Ziglar has a great quote about being so optimistic that he’d go after Moby Dick in a row boat and take the tartar sauce with him. So my tartar sauce club is basically getting together to encourage and motivate each other once a month. And if you don’t have a dream yet, no worries, sometimes just being around excited people can ignite that for you.

So become a tartar sauce carrying member of my new club by signing up here.

And in case anyone becomes worried, I’m only going to write about R+F on Saturdays (more writing, yay!) so no worries about this blog becoming a horribly long commercial.

And now I’m off to bathe my baby in Rodan + Fields’ Anti-Age regimen… 

I’m too good at this.

“L” is not always for Loser #reverb10


What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today.

(Author: Tara Sophia Mohr)

I want to achieve my MFT license. I imagine I’d feel relieved and free. Right now I’m under supervision, which is great,  but that dang “L” (as in LMFT as Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist) sure would be awesome.

Speaking of the “L”, have you ever thought about how much importance we put on things that aren’t that important? I mean, is it really that awesome to have an “L” in my name? No. Not really. Heck most of you probably didn’t even know that an “L” mattered in this line of work.

Shouldn’t I want to achieve something a little more substantial than an element of the alphabet? Why not hope to achieve something that would, you know, actually matter like world peace or a cure for cancer or an easy bake oven for all the children in Uganda?

And now I’m too depressed with my own lack of vision to even finish the rest of this prompt. Thanks, reverb10, for killing my spirit…


I recently read an article that talked about how being successful requires being audacious. Be comfortable with standing out. Use your audaciousness to delight the people in your world.

design by blend nashville. image by joel hartz

My friends, I have been delighted by Blend Nashville’s audaciousness.

design by blend nashville. image by joel hartz

A month or so ago I asked the wonderful ladies of Blend to help me with the office space that I use. Because, well, it looked like this:

really, marie?

They could have played it safe and helped me find a couch that matched a chair that fit the room. But they didn’t play it safe. They were audacious and they let their Awesome Flag fly high and proud.

design by blend nashville. image by joel hartz

Blend didn’t just create a functional office space, they created an environment that fits everything I’ve ever visualized for Nashville Marriage Studio. The space is warm and inviting so that a couple feels safe as they explore what makes their relationship work, or not work. It’s creative and fun so that they take me seriously when I say they can “design the marriage of their dreams”.

It’s more than I could have ever dreamed.

Thank you, ladies, for being audacious and not listening to the voice that told you to play it safe.

Website –
Facebook –
Images – (Joel & Michelle Hartz shot these great photos… also, Joel looks like Wolverine, which is very cool)

I can’t even show up to a #GoalMeetup on time

So how about I just skip all the excuses about how I didn’t meet any of #goalmeetup plans and let you know about the one I did meet…

I passed my MFT exam!

Which, in my opinion, is part miracle part hard work.

You may recall my post where I vomited everything I know about marriage and family therapy onto you. Well, in there I say that I call it the MFT exam when really it’s the “Lots of Letters I Don’t Remember” Exam. I really didn’t take the time to know the official name of the test because I was pretty sure it didn’t matter…

Well. I was wrong.

I walk into the testing center that Friday afternoon and let the nice man know I’m here to take the MFT exam.

Nice Man:  MFT exam? We don’t have an MFT exam… (he starts looking through his list)

Holy potatoes. The only thing I didn’t think to study for, THE NAME OF THE TEST, was going to be the death of me.

Me: Um, I don’t know the official name. But the letters M, F, and T should be in there.

Nice Man: Oh, here it is… The National Counseling for Things Marie Has Never Heard Of Exam. Let’s get you set up…

Me: No! No! No! That’s not my test! I need a test with M’s, F’s and T’s in the name. Marriage and Family Therapy. That’s what I do. Um, try AMFT…R…LC…Q… yeah, look that up.

Nice Man: You want me to look up AMFTRLCQ?

Me: Um, yeah. We’ll start there.

I was screwed.

We finally figured out which test was mine (AMFTRB) and I was ready to spend the next 4 hours working on the 200 question test. By the time I walked out I was pretty sure that me having trouble with the name of the test and that turning out to be the easiest thing I answered that afternoon was a sign that I was NOT going to get a passing score.  

Thankfully, my gut was so WRONG and I passed. No clue whatsoever on how I pulled of this miracle, but I did it.

This test doesn’t really mean anything in regards to my licensure other than I have to hurry up and get my 2000 clinical hours in stat.

And to get this out of the way, here are my November goals:

1) Stay in budget with the food (Mark and I took out the budgeted amount for food in October and did an excellent job staying in budget. We’ll be looking to do the same thing again.)
2) Get Christmas shopping done before Thanksgiving.
3) Bring something (ANYTHING) to Thanksgiving dinner.
4) Love my body again by doing something active every single day (actually did an awesome job with this last month, too, but wanted to make it more tangible.
5) Seriously clean that dining/office room.

That’s Master McKinney-Oates to you…

When you get your Masters the very first thing people ask is, “When are you going to get your doctorate?”

Seriously? I just completed a level of education that some people don’t even have the luxury of dreaming about and you’re asking me when I’m going to do MORE? Why can’t you just be happy for me, MOM?

Just kidding. My mom NEVER pressured me about school. Ever.

After being asked when I would become Dr. McKinney (no Oates at the time) enough times I started saying, “Actually, I’m just going to stop here. At my Masters. Because who really wants to be Dr. McKinney when they can be MASTER McKinney?”

In all seriousness, I was going to stop at Masters no matter what because the idea of more school honestly makes me want to puke. And not in the good way.

I don’t talk tons about having a masters for two reasons:

1) It wasn’t THAT hard. And I don’t mean that in a condescending, gosh it’s hard to be so smart way. I mean it in a Master’s of Marriage and Family Therapy really isn’t the hardest thing in the world to get through. It wasn’t easy, but it just never felt like something to brag about.

2) I have no clue if it’s Masters or Master’s. This makes me insecure. I told you getting a masters is not an indication of my smartness.

Well, this Friday I’m taking an exam that I call the MFT exam when really it’s the “Lots of Letters I don’t remember” Exam. Basically, it’s the national test that I have to take if I want to be licensed.

I’ve been studying for this test for the past month and have really gotten serious in the last week or so. No, I’m not freaking out about ‘procrastinating’ and I really do think I’ll do fine.

What’s amazing, though, is that in reviewing all the different theories of therapy I am realizing that I was supposed to learned a whole heck of a lot of stuff!

One of the best ways for me to learn is to talk about something, or teach it to others. I should probably try to teach it to Mark, but, Dudes, these are therapy techniques. Ways to bring about change in others. If I teach him what I know I will lose all my power in this relationship. Not an option.

So I’m going to put it in the best hiding place I know when it comes to Mark. The McKinney-Oates Cereal Blog. And you, dear reader, will be my pupil. If you want a recap of what I’ve been studying read below…

(I got this idea from Erica at You Should Only Know because she’s blogging about her graduate program in Industrial/Organizational Psych which is AWESOME.) Continue reading