During our premarital counseling Mark and I were given tons of material to read. Tons. Especially on the topic of sex. We read everything from theology of sexuality to graphs comparing how a man gets aroused (like a microwave) to how a woman gets aroused (like a crockpot).
For information junkies like Mark and myself, this was heaven.
Until I got to the “Questions from Men” chapter in one of the books. This book was written by a Christian couple, and in this particular chapter the husband was answering various questions that men have about sexuality. I don’t remember the exact question, but it had something to do with the man feeling weird about having sex with his wife since she’d given birth. He felt like her body was, like, a holy place or something. Like I said, kinda foggy on details.
The answer, however, has been seared in my mind. Forever. The author answered with this gem (and I’m paraphrasing because I can’t find our books),
It is hard to see a woman in the same light after she has given birth. First of all, there are the obvious physical changes that occur. Her breasts and hips are no longer the same. You may not have the same desire for her body anymore, and this is normal. Instead, look at her body with admiration. Like a soldier with battle scars, she has sacrificed her body to give you children.
Ahem. I’m sorry, Author Dude, is your book supposed to help people stay together? Because I’m pretty sure that if I was a woman who just spent any amount of time pushing a CHILD out of my body and had a husband who “lovingly” turned to me and said, “Thank you for sacrificing your body. Your boobs will never be the same, but I still love you, Soldier” I would have. a. cow. And then I would kill him. Which would suck because I’d be a single mother to a new baby and a cow, but you gotta do what you gotta do.
This Hump Day make your plans to celebrate Mother’s Day on Sunday. Just don’t celebrate her “battle scars”. Celebrate her awesomeness.